Zico Coconut Water Fail

I'm not a huge drinker of coconut water. Most times it tastes like nothing to me or has so much pulp that it feels like I'm drinking sea monkeys. So today before work instead of my usual Gatorade I decided to give this Zico coconut water a try. I'd seen it plenty of times and they seem to have a loyal fan base. I got to work and cracked the bottle open and took a whiff. It smelled weird but it wasn't like I was hoping for something like “Ooh, this is gonna be scrumptious!” Its friggin' coconut water. I took a swig and wanted to spit it out immediately. It tasted like melted butter. Now, butter is great. It makes most things taste better, but by itself its gross. Like cinnamon. I tried to force myself to finish the bottle but it just wasn't happening. And at almost two bucks a bottle it should at least be palatable. I'll continue hunting for coconut water that doesn't taste like it should be spread on toast. 

Energy Drinks

After some recent deaths and even “spontaneous abortions” people have been coming down hard on energy drinks, particularly 5 Hour Energy. I for one am here to say that not only do I like the stuff, I’ll continue to support them. I first tried it last year when I was damn near close to passing out while transcribing. A chick that worked with me said that they worked so I headed down to the store and got one. It tasted like ass but in less than half an hour I felt well rested. Not all jittery like most energy drinks but like I actually slept well the night before.

There are plenty of energy drinks on the market. The most popular one is Red Bull. Even the name says “Things are about to get crazy!” If you want to annoy all your friends or co-workers knock back a few of these. If you want to look like an ass have it sugar free. By the way, sugar free? Red Bull? Just take a nap, granny. I’ve had this drink with vodka before which is like putting an axe at the end of a handgun. It seems like it would be cool until you actually try using it. And whatever you do don’t pour it into a glass. It looks like diseased urine.

Buddha Belly Is Amazing

Last weekend me and Cam went to Buddha's Belly again. This place is just fantastic. Located near The Grove it is pretty easy to miss. I've mentioned before that I had passed it dozens of times and never noticed it. The way its set up is nice, the staff is awesome, and the food is great. We usually start off with chicken potstickers and we continued this trend. I almost forgot to take a picture since we dived into them as soon as they arrived.

In my attempt to continue trying new things at places I've been to a few times I thought that we should try the crab thingies. I forget what the name of these were but they were good. You have to be careful here since everything is big so you can get full easily.

More Numero Uno

About two weeks ago me and Cam went to Numero Uno. I forget how good this place is and each time we've been its been nice. I have been trying different things there so while Cam got her single pizza I tried the lemon chicken linguine. I expected chicken, like, cut up in the pasta but it was next to it. I also didn't expect it to taste so lemony! This is not a complaint. It tasted amazing but I thought maybe a lemon squeezed over it or maybe some juice on it. Nope. This was cooked in lemon or something and was so damned good. We also got those sweet dough balls as well. I took the rest of it home with me and as always it tasted just as if not better the next day.

Grown Man Meal

A few weeks ago I promised myself a home made meal. I don't make them as much as I used to and that is silly. Plus working on a show where all I do is watch food being made is a huge tease for my stomach so I told myself “We're having a big ass steak this weekend!” So while shopping at Target for new shoes I also bought some pants and almost forgot that they have, like, actual food at Target. So I picked up a huge steak for $8 and a couple of potatoes for mashing. Later that night I made a delicious steak and potatoes dinner that made me eleven kinds of happy. I think I will make this a weekly weekend thing. Have crap that lasts all week during the work week and a good meal at home on weekends. Hell, why not? I'm a grown ass man.

Arclight Burgers

I went to see Argo with Cam a couple of weeks ago and we were both having the hunger. We could either see it at The Grove and fight with tourists for parking and deal with loud ass kids or we could see it at The Arclight with beautiful seats and no kids. So we went to the Arclight. We had about thirty five minutes before the movie and decided to eat there. Its cool because you write what time your movie starts and they make it faster I guess. She got a veggie burger and I got a regular one with fries. It was damned good! I was hankering for a burger since I have been living off pizza for weeks now. If you’re ever in the area get some food there. Less than $25 for a full meal and drinks for two folks. Or you can go to that creepy ass Jack In The Box that has carpet across the street.

Lemonade In Beverly Hills

Last Friday me and Cam went to this place called Lemonade over in Beverly Hills that she had been to and said was good. There hasn’t been a time when she told me something was good and it wasn’t so we headed there for some nyum-nyum’s. Yes, I am an adult that says that. I got the chicken buttermilk sandwich served on pretzel bread. It came with an arugula salad that I ate. Yes. I. Did.

The salad was a little too lemony but good. The sandwich was awesome with a green tomato on it and I hadn’t had one of those since I was a little kid. Cam got an arugula salad that she enjoyed and each of our meals were enough for dinner later. I also got a side of macaroni and cheese that was good. Not outstanding, but good.

For dessert that we didn’t eat Cam a big ass macadamia nut and cranberry cookie that was good. I got a brownie the size of a child’s imagination that is sitting in my fridge with just two bites taken out of it. We also got melon lemonade and an Arnold Palmer that was good even after the ice melted.

Mendocino Farms Is Great

Mendocino Farms is a place over here that is fucking amazing. I would post a picture of their food but I have taken some pretty bad ones that don’t represent the food they serve very well. The first time I went was to the one on 3rd and Fairfax next to that new Trader Joe’s across from The Grove with Miss Q. I got an awesome sandwich that I cant recall but it was some sort of club. The next time I went was with Cam where I tried the blue cow chicken sandwich which was so damned good and tasted just as good the next day. I was like “How is this possible?!” 

The third time I went was during a shopping spree with Cam and we tried the one on Santa Monica and La Brea in that Target shopping center aka Parking Here Hurts Your Soul. I got the chicken salad sandwich which looked great on paper and Cam got the same. We tried it and both of our eyes lit up. This was better the next day. The very next day, even as my half sandwich sat at home in my fridge, I went to the one on 3rd with my tattoo artist and tried the steak BLT which blew my fucking mind. Other than great sandwiches this place has lemonades, chips, and a ton of side dishes like potato salads that rule and regular salads. This is a spot I’ll be going to at least every two weeks because the staff is the best out of any restaurant I have been to in L.A and the food is consistently good. I just hope they don’t start popping up everywhere like The Counter because we have seen how shitty their service is now.

Pho & Fish

I know I haven’t posted on here for a long time so I’m gonna have to put , like, three different places in this one post. I’ve been going to a lot of places to eat lately and tried some new stuff. It has been awesome being able to try these new spots. I’m gonna start off with this place I have been to a couple of times now called Pho Café in early August.

Pho Café 

This place is good. It’s a Vietnamese place where you should know that you wont be getting service with a smile. You will get your food fast and hot though which is more important. I got a massive bowl of chicken pho that when I thought I was done would turn out to have another pound of food at the bottom. Cam got a dish but it turned out to be the wrong thing so she didn’t enjoy her meal as much.

Back At Stout

I went to Stout in Hollywood with Cam this afternoon. We didn’t have that much time before seeing a movie (which you can read a review for here) and wanted something nearby. She had never gone to this place and I hadn’t been back since going with The Engineer so we parked at The Arclight and walked the block or so. We found a table immediately which was cool because the place was over half full. We got our menus and tried to figure out what burgers and beer to get. They have a lot of beers and I’m no expert on booze. I just wanted something that had a lot of alcohol and picked something with 14% because I’m a grown ass man.

Remember Sizzler?

Last week me and Cam…I really go out to eat with her a lot, don’t I? Anyhoot, we ended up going to Sizzler. I say “ended up” because I had shrimp on my mind for a couple of weeks and we decided to head to Penguin’s, that cool fish, shrimp, and chips place. So we drive over and they’re closed. They’re not open on Sundays?! We had no idea and just stared at each other. I was gonna get some shrimp, damn it. That was all I could think of. I wanted to jump out the car and scream to the heavens. Cam suggested IHOP but they don’t have the kinda shrimp I wanted. Next was either Denny’s or Sizzler. I settled on Sizzler.

We got there and got our tables and orders quickly. I got the all you can eat shrimp and fries while Cam got the salad bar. I had three refills of shrimp. Cam shared some of her chicken with me and I was satisfied. I didn’t eat the cheese bread because I don’t like it. This shocks the hell out of people but to me they taste like huge Cheez-Its and I don’t like those. We stayed for a while and had awesome conversations. Sizzler isn’t as cool as it used to be but still okay if you wanna chill.

Plan B: In & Out

The other day while hanging with Cam and trying to figure out where the hell we wanted to eat we finally settled on Chick-Fil-A. We headed over and, oh, that’s right. They aren’t open on Sundays. Damn it! We had totally forgot and went to In & Out instead. I hadn’t been there in a while and the place was packed. We think its just because Chick-Fil-A was closed because ever since it opened this place hasn’t been as busy. It was packed but we managed to find parking and got our food to go but sat our asses down and ate. Cam got a grilled cheese which is everything but the beef and I got a Double-Double, fries, and a drink. Oh, and milkshake that you need all your strength to get through the straw. I still like this spot but when you want a chicken sandwich its not the same.

Big Ass Peanut Butter Cup

Cam got me this bionic butter cup. Its not from Reese’s. They don’t make them this big. She got it for me on the 4th of July and tonight while talking to her on the phone I remembered that I hadn’t eaten it yet. Which makes no sense since its chocolate and that stuff don’t last long in my house. It had been in the fridge and I tried to patiently wait for it to melt. That didn’t work. I popped it in the microwave for half a minute and inhaled it. It tasted way better than the average butter cup. The chocolate was smooth and the peanut butter was creamy. My goofy ass is sitting here wondering why I’m not hungry at dinner time totally forgetting that I just at a meal in this. Cam is holding it to show how massive it is.

Buddha's Belly Again!

I checked over my blogs and saw that the last time I went to Buddha’s Belly was almost half a year ago. That will not do. This place is too damned good to not go to more often. After a long ass past few weeks at my new job Cam and I decided that we were gonna go somewhere for dinner. We had two choices and I’m so damned glad we picked this. Its just too damned delicious.

We started with a couple of Adult Arnold Palmer’s. Now, I have to admit that the first time I had an AP was at Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles with The Engineer and I assumed it was a booze drink. Turned out it was just tea and lemonade. This had alcohol in it and was great. Not super strong but enough to let you know you were at the big kids table.

For appetizers we got chicken potstickers again and we dove right into them so there’s no picture. Sorry. For a meal we both got this chicken burger. Neither of us remember the name and I checked their website and did not see it on there. Cam says that they change their menu a lot.

Finally A Chick-Fil-A

I have been to Chick-Fil-A three times now. I first went last week after a night of partying at City Walk. I know a lot of people around the world reading this are thinking “We’ve had Chick-Fil-A forever.” Well, here in Los Angeles we haven’t. It opened a few months ago and I had to wait until the craziness died down before I even attempted to go. So away me, Cam, and Mrs. Law went! Its over on Sunset and Highland right near the In & Out and there is usually a line of cars or people. Not to say the employees are slow. Not at all. They are actually very fast. We all got the regular sandwich, fries, and a drink. Three people can eat for less than $20 and be full. I ended up going again the next day with Alex and again today with Cam. Very awesome burgers, sauces, and service. Go here if you can.

No one spells my name right.

BLT From Toast

I had a surprise hangout with Cam this morning. We went to Toast which, as the last time I pointed out, had redone the place. We sat outside for the first time for me and I got a BLT while she got a salad thing. I know a large part of me getting the BLT was based on the fact that we had recently eaten these weird ass BLT Lays. Click that link, weirdoes. There was avocado on my sandwich and I got a side of fries. Oh, and a Sprite to drink since that is the most non-intrusive drink one can order besides water and you know I don’t touch that stuff.

Apple Pan On Pico

There’s this place called Apple Pan over on Pico that I tried for the first time. Seen the place a ton of times and talked about going there a few times but never did. It was damned good. The way its set up is what I’d describe as like a sushi place. There are no tables. You sit in a semi-circle and they cook everything like right there in front of you. Its pretty cool.

Subway Makes Ugly Sandwiches

I’ve been going to Subway for years. At one point I decided to stop going because I was just so sick of the place. Pictured is the Subway pastrami melt. Doesn’t it look delicious? You bet it does. The thing is…it never looks like that in real life. Click the read more button to see the actual picture I took of what how it really appears because it looks like the LAPD got their hands on it. I mean, you have to try to make something look the way these sandwiches do.

Chipotle Burrito Bowl

Last week I went to Chipotle. It was awesome as always. Seriously, no matter which one I go to the food is good. The cashiers for whatever reason always seem bitter. Its like, dude, you didn’t even have to build the damned food. You’re just ringing it up. Smile, bitch. Anyway, for the first time I didn’t get a giant baby sized burrito. This time I got the burrito bowl with corn, lemon rice, beef, and cheese. Oh, it was so damned good. You should get it.

Woodranch Once Again!

After a busy and productive morning Saturday me and Cam went over to Woodranch over at Farmer’s Market. Or The Grove. Whichever you want to call it. I have had fun at this place each time I’ve gone and am glad to say that in a day and age where customer service continues to plummet across the board, this place stays friendly and fast.

I started off with a strawberry lemonade to drink. I love their lemonades here. They are sweet but not knock your teeth out sweet like some places make them. They even put a giant ass piece of mint which I removed and gave to Cam because it looked too close to a vegetable for me.

Cupcakes, Sandwiches, and Burgers

I have been slacking on my food blog which is sad. It really is because I’ve been broke and not going out to eat as much as I used to. But I have gone out some and either forgot to bring my camera like when I went to Toast last week. They redid the place. New look, slower service, and even smooth jazz. But the burger was great. Here is a rundown of some of the stuff I’ve had in the last month or so.

For my birthday last month Miss E. got me a treat from La Pain that was awesome. It looks like it’s a solid cake but when I cut it in half it had this amazing filling. I planned on eating just half of it but ended up finishing it a half hour later. Pastries and cakes are not safe around me.

Smokin' Steve's & Musashi

While out in Simi Valley the other day while hanging out with Cam and the Justice’s we had barbecue on the brain. It started out innocently enough with a bag of BBQ chips and spiraled out of control until all we could think about was getting out mitts on some damned meat that was cooked with sauce! So we headed to this place called Smokin’ Steve’s.

This place was good! They had a big ass menu. I have been to quite a few BBQ places in my life and have never seen a menu that had as much as this one. They also had a lot of different flavored sauces you could take home. I have a few cups of saucy goodness waiting for me. Miss Justice got some hotlinks and macaroni. I got two big ass hotlinks with potato salad. It was very good and filling as hell.

All About Kettle Corn

Photo courtesy of John the Neighbor.

Cam is one friend of mine that I will openly admit is a far superior cook to me. I can cook my ass off but she uses a lot of ingredients. Today we hung out watching about six episodes of Game Of Thrones on HBO which is a great show that I’ll be writing about on my Dante Rants blog. Cam made some kettle corn today and I could not stop eating it. I mean that in every damned sense of the word. I tried and would look down and my hand would be back in the bowl.

The Counter On Sunset Rules

The other day Miss Q. and I went to The Counter. No, not that shitty one on Wilshire that has terrible service, but the cool one on Sunset. Let me talk about that one on Wilshire. Not only have I had two shit experiences there, but Miss Q. had one as well with a group of people. That place really needs to get their stuff together before they go the way of the Koo Koo Roo that was there. Anyhoot…

The one on Sunset is great. We went there with Wolfenstein because they allow pets outdoors and they even brought us a heater since it was chilly outside. Yes, I know I live in California. And yes, you are a jerk for mentioning how much colder it is where you are. Sorry. Them’s the rules.

Bacon Flavored Popcorn...?

Cam got me a box of bacon flavored popcorn. This stuff is from the makers of bacon flavored mayo, salt, and I believe lube. I’m not kidding. So when I saw this I damn near lost my mind. So I had it for a day and decided to pop it in the microwave. Uh…it was an odd experience. Out of the package it smelled like bacon. I got excited and watched it pop…for over three minutes. There was no popping. Then once it did it smelled like wet dog food. That didn’t stop me because I’m a winner, damn it! So when it was done it ended up tasting like nothing at all. Yep. After all of that it tasted like plain ass popcorn. I love J&B’s intentions but they failed hard with this. At least I still have the bacon scented air freshener Cam gave me!

Good Microbrew Silverlake

A couple of weeks ago Cam and I went to this place I had passed a bunch of times when I worked downtown called Good Microbrew. We were in the area and decided to head there. We wanted some breakfast food and they had it so hell yeah let’s get some pancakes! Damn, I love me some pancakes. I got some with a side of bacon and scrambled eggs which tasted good.

On the other side I got a kinda soggy hash brown. I know these things are hard to make so I cant knock it that much. The place had just opened like an hour or so before so maybe the chef had to warm up a bit to get that perfect combination of brown going on them hashes. Either way I ate the damned thing because I’m hungry as hell at this point. Don't that look like the loneliest hash brown ever?

Pinches Tacos On Sunset

Earlier this week me and The Duchess went to this place called Pinches Tacos up on Sunset. I had to have passed this place thousands of times and never bothered to, uh, see it. Its so damned close I am mad that I didn’t know about it when me and The Engineer went to that weird ass Taxco place and had to suffer through the singing waiter with no menus. Now that I know this place exists I want to go a lot. Like, a lot. It was very good.

I was just talking to Cam a few days ago and she said that she was disappointed in the Mexican food in Los Angeles and I agreed with her. Knowing where we live and all the choices there aren’t that many that taste good. Most are…okay. Or just weird. Some of the best places are catering trucks and you have to know someone that knows which truck to go to. So I’m super happy that I now know that Pinches exists.

Ruffles Queso Fail

Yesterday I went to the store and using my Fat Vision I spotted some chips I had not seen before. Ruffles Queso. You all know I’ll try any new chip so I bought a bag. So there I am sitting on the phone with Cam and I pop one of these into my mouth. She asked how it tasted and here is my exact quote: “Oh, it tastes like that cheese popcorn I used to eat when I was a kid…and vomit! Aaagh!!!” I don’t know how they managed to reproduce the taste of actual vomit but they did. Shame on them for this shit. The worst part was that the taste took forever to go away. I know it didn't help that these were just covered in cheese. Thick, vomity ass cheese.

The Gardens Of Taxco West Hollywood

Yesterday me and The Engineer went to this place called The Gardens Of Taxco over here in West Hollywood. She grew up nearby and I have lived here for over a decade and neither of us had ever been to this place. Which is kinda weird because we eat at places all the damned time and this place is less than a minutes walk. I almost went here in 2010 but didn’t for some reason. I think someone said “empanada” and I ran in the other direction. For good reason as it turns out. Here’s what their enchilada looks like.

Daphne's In Culver City

Daphne’s is a Greek place that Cam and I went to earlier this evening. It was really good. I got a pita burger, fries, rice, and Coke. Not just regular Coke. But their machine had an extra button where you could squirt with cherry, vanilla, or orange syrup for flavoring. Damn, it was good! Cam got a chicken pita thing and some chicken soup. This place was pretty damn nifty and I wish there was one nearby. Now to the part of the story that led us to getting to Culver City.

Burger's At Calendar's

Went to Calendar’s the other day while on a mural tour. Cam, her mom’s friend, and I all sat down and had a very good meal. We never think to go to this place which is weird. On either side is Johnny’s (good food angry service) and The Counter (still on double secret probation for being asshats). I got a cheeseburger and fries with Sprite. They gave me four refills! Four! I’m like Mr. Pink in Reservoir Dogs where I need a certain amount of refills to make me happy. Cam had to explain that I will drink a ton and then not have to use the restroom for hours. That’s how I roll. I have trained my bladder well. Anyhoot, go to Calendar’s on Wilshire. Its good.

Blue Marlin On Sawtelle

Tonight Cam and I headed to this place called Blue Marlin. The way I said that makes it seem like it was really easy to find and we just moseyed our asses there with no problems. This was not the case. I had never been to this place or heard of it before she mentioned it to me, and she kinda knew where it was. So after driving around for a bit we found it. Thank god because I was getting close to bitchy. I’m so ugly when I’m hungry. When I was told about this place Cam kept saying that they had Japanese spaghetti.

Johnny's On Wilshire

Cam and I have now for some reason made a habit out of starving ourselves before finally eating somewhere. Between watching a documentary at the African American History Museum, shopping at multiple places, and screaming at people in cars while singing, we managed to go to this place Johnny’s that we haven’t been to in years. Its right on Wilshire right near the LACMA. We tried to figure out what we wanted (everything fro sushi to hamburgers) and settled on Italian since it covered every base we needed to be…covered.

Penguin's On Pico

This weekend while hanging out with Cam and running errands we both realized that we hadn’t really eaten all day. I wanted something different. Something I hadn’t had in a while. Fish and chips! And shrimp! We went to this place called Penguin's on Pico that I had never been to and probably passed all the damn time. We ordered catfish, jumbo shrimp, fries, and Snapple’s. This was exactly what I wanted and needed. This place was fast, good atmosphere, and the price was good. I’ll be heading here again. Better than going all the way to the ‘hood just for some fish. I got a side of macaroni while Cam got potato salad. Damn it. Now I'm hungry again.

Domino's Delivers To My House

The other day I ordered pizza from Domino’s and I fucking love it. You know why I love it besides for obvious reasons like its cheap and its good? Its because they actually fucking deliver! I tried ordering pizza from Pizza Hut a few weeks ago and they told me that they don’t deliver to my area. My area? You mean West Hollywood? Its not some obscure or far ass place that I live in. I live in a city that has plenty of food places. They used to deliver here and I don’t know when they stopped but screw them. The jerks.

Stout Burger & Bear Hollywood

Last night The Engineer took me to this place called Stout Burger & Beer that’s on Cahuenga between Sunset and Hollywood Blvd. This is another one of those places I had passed plenty of times and just never paid attention to. They specialize in a shit ton of beer and delicious burgers. I’m super damn picky when it comes to burgers so I was hoping that it would at least be as good as some of my favorite places. I also hardly drink liquor and eat at the same time which is something I’m still working on.

Buddha's Belly On Beverly

Cam and I went to this place I’d never gone to called Buddha’s Belly over on Beverly Blvd. I had to have passed this place so many times over the years and just never looked at it or something. Its close to Pan Pacific Park and The Grove and for whatever reason my brain just Matrix’d it out of my line of sight. Very strange indeed.

We headed over here even though yesterday we had an amazing dinner thrown by Cam for her annual after New Year’s deal. Her chicken is great by the way as is her tipsy rum cake which I always call “drunk cake” because the longer it sat in my fridge the more powerful it got. Sadly I didn’t take any pictures because my fat ass just shoved it in my mouth beforehand. Mixed with shrimp, fuzzy navels and an accidental screwdriver mixed with some funny ass conversation and you have a recipe for a happy Dante. Back to the restaurant.