Thursday, December 29, 2011

Cheetos Puffs Honey BBQ

On a trip to the liquor store while having a damned "Chip Fit" (those random moments when your brains points out the fact that you haven’t eaten any chips in a while) I saw this bag of Cheetos that that looked unfamiliar. I grabbed a bag and it turns out they were Cheetos Puffs Honey BBQ. I didn’t touch them for a day (instead eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos) but once I did I was in the love. These huge ass things are delicious. Don’t eat these looking for the taste of cheese though. Its all about the honey and barbecue.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Burger Kitchen On 3rd

There is this place called Burger Kitchen on 3rd Street. Neither Cam or I had ever been and randomly decided to go. Finding parking could’ve been hard but it wasn’t. We got to the place and walked into a very dark and very quiet restaurant. It was Friday night and this place was dead. All the other places nearby had a bunch of people and it sounded so fun. Maybe we should have gone to one of those places instead. We sat down and were greeted. There was a giant wall for writing in chalk. Cam leaned against it getting chalk on her sweater.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Foreign Potato Chips

Cam recently got back from South America and since she is the best woman to ever live she brought some snacky nyum-nyums for me to try. They were chips and I was excited because they were two flavors I had never tried before. I’ll start with the first one which was from Walker’s (part of Frito Lay’s). It was Pollo flavored and when I opened the bag I said “It smells like Chicken McNuggets.” I popped one in my mouth and immediately my tongue said “No! No! What the…?! Why are you doing this to me?!” It tasted like someone had taken a Vienna sausage, let it dry, mashed it flat, and put it in a bag. Instinctively my tongue shoved it between my gums and my cheek. Cam had one or two and put them down. These things were the devil and I cant see how anyone could eat these and enjoy them. They taste like fresh ass.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Thanksgiving Championship Edition

Whenever I go of Ms. T and Mr. J’s house I think to myself “This is what I want to do when I grow up.” Each time I go over there we end up having fun conversations and amazing food. As me and Cam headed over there I was hungry as hell. Mr. J. knows how to make a powerful ass drink so he gave me a rum and Coke which made my stomach ask “What the hell is food?” Seriously, if he were a bartender everyone would go straight to him. So we all talked while waiting for the meals to finish and Cam saying I wasn’t finishing my drink fast enough. It was powerful, okay?!

Urth Caffe Downtown

Recently I went to Urth Caffe with Miss E. after it being mentioned multiple times about how good it was and how we had to go. Every time I hear about a place being healthy the first thing I think about is “What can I order that is as close to McDonald’s as it gets?” Yeah, its bad but whatever. So while driving I asked which location we were going to because we kept driving down Melrose until I could see Downtown Los Angeles in the distance. She said they have a Downtown location and I felt good knowing that my friend didn’t forget where we were going.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Surprise Thanksgiving

Every year (except in 2009 when I was poor) I have done a huge dinner the weekend after Thanksgiving for close friends and family. This year I have struggled with whether or not to do it. I had met some new people and wanted them to experience it but then again I realize that my job, though full time, isn’t year round. Another huge factor was/is the fact that out of all the people that I invited last year I talk to only two of them on a regular basis. Will I do a dinner? Eventually. But as for now, no. Its just not in me. But that all changed when my tattoo artist came by yesterday.

Joan's On Third Once Again!

Last Sunday I headed out to Joan’s On Third with Miss L. Yes, I know I had gone the day before for the first time but Miss L. had never been and I loved the place so I suggested we head there. It was raining like crazy and we could not find parking nearby but eventually we did at a meter and braved the weather. The line moved fast and we went halve-sies on a rib eye sandwich and a pulled pork sandwich. Miss L. also got a vegetable soup that she enjoyed. We sat outside as it rained near a heater and had a great time. I plan on going back next weekend and I’ll be sure to take more pictures. This time we both started eating and I said “Oh, yeah. I have a food blog…

Barbecue Pizza From Trader Joe's

Last week I grabbed a Trader Joe’s pizza. They have a lot of them there and I wanted to try out the barbecue chicken one. Damn, this thing is good! I had half of it and then realized that it was silly to try and save it till later. So I ate the rest of it. It’s a thin crust pizza which I normally do not enjoy but there’s so much chicken on it that I don’t mind. Its only about $4.99 which is pretty damn cheap for such a good little pizza.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Joan's On Third

Yesterday Miss Fish and I went to this place called Joan’s On Third. I had to have passed this place hundreds of times and just never noticed it. I’m magical that way. Turns out she had worked there years ago and knew a few of the people that were still there. When we got there the place was super packed but it was fine because they kept the line moving really fast which was shocking because seriously, there was a lot of people there. I was still struggling to figure out what I wanted to get until it was time to actually order.

Oishi Sushi

A couple days ago me and Cam (whose hand has made multiple appearances in this blog) went to this sushi place called Oishi Sushi over in Beverly Hills. I’ve mentioned before that I am still getting into sushi and have tried about six places now and I tend to get the same meal each time. That didn’t change. I got my same meal. But I did try something new this time. We had tried to go to this place a few times but either we ran out of time or we wanted it too early in the day to get it. Last Friday was perfect so we went. But before that happened…

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Here's The Beef...Bacon!

This exists! Its beef bacon. About a month or so ago someone told me that Trader Joe’s sold bacon. I thought they were just messing with me because everyone knows that I would chase a old lady with a steel chair for a couple pieces of bacon. But I went and sure enough they have a lot of different flavors of the stuff. I know I may sound like a fool because there are some foods that have been around forever and my friends and family just never told me about them or how good they are. Like fried turkey. Took me like 30 years before anyone told me how amazing it was. Jerks. Or pho. Turns out I was going right past these places and not knowing how great it was. If good food exists, tell me!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

At Kings Road Cafe Again

Went to Kings Road Café again with Miss E. and decided to get something more than coffee. I mean, I still got a coffee but I hadn’t eaten anything there but coffee and biscotti since the first time I went there. This time I was in the mood for chicken so I got this amazing chicken quesadilla with cheese. It came with delicious sour cream, real avocado guacamole, and spicy hot sauce. This was a very good meal and filling without being crippling. Even had enough left to have some for dinner later on tonight! I have enjoyed every meal I’ve had at this place.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Nickel Diner Downtown Los Angeles

Last week during the LA Art Walk in Downtown Los Angeles my tattoo artist Koko took me to this place called Nickel Diner aka the 5 Cent Diner. No, it doesn’t cost just fives cents to eat there. That would be silly. The reason that there is no picture of the delicious bacon avocado burger I ate is because I ate it before I took a picture. It was that good and I was that hungry. The burger was huge and the bacon was perfect. The fries were perfect and there was just enough of them. And guess how many times I had to ask for a refill? Not never! Our awesome tattooed waitress was on top of her shit. The place was super busy but no one sat around asking where their food was. It came fast, hot, and good. They are located at 524 S. Main St. Los Angeles, CA 90013. If you’re ever Downtown you should definitely check this place out.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Röckenwagner Bakery In Santa Monica

Miss E. and I went to Santa Monica a couple days ago. We didn’t hit up our usual spots on Beverly or in Larchmont but decided to check out the beach. I hadn’t been over to Santa Monica in a long ass time and the mall over there was still under construction which had been going on for years. I was shocked to see how much it had changed. There was this entire food court that was the complete opposite of the food court that used to be there that had such mall staples Sbarro and Panda Express. Maybe there was even a Hotdog On A Stick aka Perv Paradise. Miss. E had been here before so I left it up to her to lead me around especially since I’m no expert in fresh food and we ended up at Röckenwagner.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Roscoe's: Good Food Bad Service

Went to Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles with Miss H. once again last week. If you read the old post I did about this place you will notice that it is damn near the opposite experience in terms of service. Roscoe’s is one of those places that I heard about for years before I ever actually went there. “Who in the hop scotching hell would want to eat chicken and waffles at the same time?!” I mean, I like pancakes more and the idea of eating chicken with a dish that had syrup sounds terrible. But Roscoe’s tastes awesome. If you’re ever in Los Angeles and you don’t give this a try you fail as a human being. But…lets see how you feel after reading this latest review.

Numero Uno Causes The Itis

A few weeks ago me and Cam went to Numero Uno. I love this place because we always get to sit down pretty fast, its good and dark, and the food is affordable. Its over on Wilshire past La Brea and well worth the trip. I used to get Numero Uno when I was a little kid and it was nothing like this. This is fancy ass tasting pizza. Back then it had this puffy crust and was good but now they just pile it on. You’ll get a wrist injury just lifting this to your face! I got the pepperoni and cheese one and Cam got the veggie one. I think. This was a little while ago but its safe to assume that’s what she got.

I’m not as picky with my pizza as I am with food like burgers or tacos. What I mostly care about is whether or not the sauce tastes like ketchup or if the dough is crappy. Numero Uno not only has great sauce and dough, they cover it with chunks of tomatoes that are actually fresh. The cheese isn’t that weird cheese like when you order from Domino’s. I always feel happy after eating here. Its my inner fat kid that gets the most joy from this.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Zankou Chicken on Sunset

Yesterday me and South Paw went to Zankou Chicken on Sunset a little past Western. This is one of those places that I have heard of but swore I never saw and would never think about when anyone said “Where do you wanna eat?” I am so glad I finally tried this place and will definitely be heading there again. I have no idea what the other locations are like so I have only this one to base my experience off of. South Paw kept saying that the chicken was amazing so even though they had a bunch of other stuff I was getting the chicken. She also warned me about the garlic sauce (paste?) that they serve with their food. After assuring her that I wouldn’t be kissing anyone anytime soon and that it didn’t matter how strong it was, we ordered our food.

After proclaiming that I wanted some stick meat (that’s what she said…) I got the chicken shish kabobs and a large drink. It also came with what Zankou’s website describes as “garlic and tahini blended together and topped with olive oil and paprika.” It was very good but I was so focused on the garlic sauce I kept forgetting to eat it. That colorful stuff is some pickled beets so you know I didn’t eat that. South Paw got a half chicken that was an actual half chicken. Some places say they are serving you the same and I know its not. This really was.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Carney's On Sunset

There’s this hotdog place up on Sunset Blvd. called Carney’s. You know the place if you’ve driven down Sunset. It looks like a train car. They have a little rivalry with Pink’s on Melrose. And by a little rivalry I mean that Carney’s put up a big ass billboard advertising themselves right above Pink’s. What a dick move. I mean, the two places are so different there’s no reason to compete. Pink’s is popular. Carney’s is not. Its like comparing McDonald’s to The Counter.

I had not eaten from Carney’s in close to 10 years because the last experience I had with them was so bad. They are not far from me and when me and some co-workers from the old porn shop ordered a few things it took them close to two hours to bring it. Nothing like an ice cold hotdog! But thankfully I didn’t have that experience this time. I got a half pound burger with fries to start. Yes, I said start. Very good. Fries were not burned and the burger was cooked thoroughly. Looking at you, Umami Burger. The hotdogs are good but nothing to get your panties wet about. They do give you a baby bucket of sauerkraut for some reason.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Salsa & Beer

This past weekend I went to this place called Salsa & Beer with Miss L. I had never even heard of this place before. Maybe because it was in The Valley. Now, on a day that reached over 100 I was nervous about heading anywhere near The Valley but since it was getting close to 8pm it was a groovy 81 degrees. At a place called Salsa & Beer what do you think they had there?

We first headed to one of the locations and the shit was packed. Like people pouring out the door. I got out and went inside to ask what the wait for two people would be. Dude said 20 minutes. I called bullshit. That place was super busy and with the amount of people waiting outside, some groups of two, I knew it would be closer to an hour. I couldn’t wait an hour. I become a bitch when I am hungry.

I need to start using a more structured way to rate the places I eat and I might as well start here. Each aspect of the place will be placed based on Atmosphere, Location (to me), Service, Food, and Price.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Wood Ranch Bar & Grill Again!

Me and Miss Q. headed to Wood Ranch Bar & Grill over at The Grove the other day and enjoyed an awesome ass lunch. This is the third time I have been here, the first time being with Miss Q. as well. I forgot to take a picture of the delicious garlic rolls they brought. I think we ate them before I remembered to. But I did manage to get a picture of my margarita! This thing was the goodness. Very strong and very smooth. Do I remember which flavor I got? Of course not! It was that good.

For a meal I had the pulled pork sandwich with fries and a big ass lemonade. The pulled pork sandwich was really good and too big to finish while there. They bring the food out fast and hot which is always a good thing but not always a guarantee when eating out. Allow me to point out that our waitress was fucking awesome. So many times I think staff time when they ask “Is everything fine?” right when I have a mouth full of food and have to respond like Corky from Life Goes On. I wish I had gotten her name. She would see us eating and knew just when to come to the table.

Miss Q. got a steak salad. Now you all know how I feel about salad. This thing was awesome! It was seasoned perfectly and wasn’t all tough or anything. I may try it next time but take someone with me that will eat those little green things. I think they are called “Let Us.” This place is cool and you will not go broke eating here.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Andre's Is Good

I went to Andre’s a few days ago with South Paw over on Fairfax & 3rd. This place has stayed the same ever since I was in high school. I mean in the way it looks and the prices. Hell, even the same employees which is really weird. I got a couple slices of pizza, garlic bread, a mango Snapple, and this new shrimp pasta thing they had. I saw some lady get some and was like “That needs to be in my mouth!” It was all very good and you cant beat the price of this place. Andre’s has been good for over a decade. How many other places can you say that about?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Back At Umami

Yesterday Miss E. and I went to Umami Burger on La Brea. For once we went by and the place wasn’t packed so we sat out on the patio area. For those that don’t know Umami Burger is a kinda fancy place. Not dress shirt and tie fancy but the food looks fancy. I ordered the Manly Burger and Miss E. got the Umami Burger. We decided to share the sweet potato fries. Our food arrived and we were gonna split each in half and share. We were starving before we even got there and the long wait was not the business.

Everyone knows that I hate sending food back. If I can not send food back I will not. But we had to. Miss E. cut her burger (medium rare) open and that son of a bitch was raw! (screamed in Gordon Ramsay voice) I mean it was mooing. We sent it back and ate most of our fries while drinking Mexican Cokes. The sweet potato fries were good. I had never had them here before. As we finished them I noticed that there was brown sugar in them. They also came with this ketchup that was almost salsa like. Very good.

My Manly Burger finally arrived fully cooked but way smaller. It was awesome and had these little bacon slivers on it. I swear if I could just have a plate full of those little slices I would. If only the one done correctly was as big as the raw one. A man can dream, cant he? While I have a moment I’ll mention that the staff was very cool. They didn’t get butt hurt over us sending the food back and one of the waitresses even stated that the burger was not done.

Miss. E.’s Umami Burger was good. That fried little slice of cheese was really good. And yes this time it was finished. I’m not gonna let the fact that we got served living food turn me off from this place. I hadn’t been there in a while and when the food was prepared properly I barely chewed it I ate it so fast.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Biscotti & Latte's At King's Road Cafe

Earlier this week I went to King’s Road Café again with Miss E. She had been talking about their coffee for the longest and I got to have it finally. They made it pretty fast and it even had a nice heart drawn on it. The biscotti was awesome even though I never managed to figure out how to dunk it properly. I looked like a dog eating a peanut butter sandwich. I had never had a biscotti before and it was cool. I could imagine how cool this combination would be on a cold day. Which means it wont happen often since I live in West Hollywood. So I will continue to sit in 90 degree heat eating biscotti and drinking a big ass latte.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Escuela On Beverly

Tonight I went to this place called Escuela over on Beverly Blvd. here in Los Angeles. Miss L. and I were trying to figure out where to go. We thought about The Bowery on Sunset but decided tacos would be better. I have to had passed this place dozens of times and never noticed it because its on a side street. For an appetizer we got these chips with salsa and guacamole. This was actual guacamole and it was really good. So was the salsa but the guacamole was really good.

Miss L. got the pork belly and I got the shrimp tacos. After a long wait we got our food. We shared and her pork belly was amazing. My shrimp taco tasted good but hers kicked its ass. As we were eating I remembered that I ordered a soda and finally got it. The tacos were tiny but good. Its funny but whenever I’ve gone to a Mexican themed place the food is either really big or really small.

We were still hungry so we got a carne asada taco. They always come in orders of two. It was okay. Not nearly enough seasoning or taste and a bit too many onions. This place is good but kinda pricy. Parking could possibly be a bitch but we got lucky. Nice wait staff but really slow. It took way too long in between ordering food, bringing food, and being asked if we were doing fine with our meals. Speaking of the staff I just looked at Miss L. when a waiter came to our table and for no reason said “I’m not made for double shifts.” Uh, okay, dude. I don’t care. If you go to Escuela get the pork belly and a Mexican soda and be happy.

Charlie's At The L.A Farmer's market

This morning I went to this place called Charlie’s at The Farmer’s Market next to The Grove. I had been here once before with Miss L. and they have really good and filling pancakes. Their bacon was thick and their prices are cheap. That’s Cam of course trying to inhale all my food. Except the bacon of course. The scrambled eggs were a little runny but that was overlookable. Wow. Overlookable is a real word. We both sat there chatting about Abraham Lincoln’s murder and enjoying the beautiful L.A weather. Oh, and the staff is really cute. Bunch of young girls wearing shorts and smile a lot. Head there and grab an awesome breakfast and don’t deal with the staff at IHOP.

IHOP Staff

Earlier this week I went to IHOP with my tattoo artist Koko. I love IHOP. I can sit there for hours on end eating and talking about life. I ordered the pancakes, eggs, bacon, hash browns, and a strawberry lemonade. It was very good and Koko enjoyed her fancy crepe thing with fruit on it. After a while I realized I hadn’t heard from our waiter in a while. No, it wasn’t busy. It was in the middle of the day with more staff than people. Eventually I had to go and get a refill from the manager. I’m sick of this nonsense with wait staff. Stop that shit! Feed and serve me! I know I may sound dickish, but come on. If I could get my own drinks I would. I barely wanted to leave a tip seeing as how our food took forever to arrive.

Father's Office

Last week I went to Father’s Office in Culver City with Miss L. She had posted about this place and I was always wondering “When’s gonna be my time?!” Well, I finally got to go and I’ll be damned if this wasn’t the best burger I’ve ever had! I know I said the same thing about Umami Burger. Then I said it about The Counter. Well, I’m saying it once again. The burger has blue cheese, lettuce, and some kinda sauce that is just delicious. They also give you a mountain of fries so split your order. And don’t get me started on their powerful ass drinks! The staff was really awesome and nice and there when you needed them. I loved this place but already Cam has told me about a place that’s supposed to be better. We’ll see how that goes.

(edit: Was just told by Miss L. herself “How can you forget to write about the bone marrow fat!?!” so here it goes)

For an appetizer we got this bone marrow fat. Yeah. I know it sounds strange and I’m really not one to experiment when it comes to what goes in my mouth. Don’t be a pervbot. It is a couple of pieces of beef marrow with the smoothest, most buttery, most tastiness inside. It was served with pieces of toasted slices of bread to spread it on. I had heard for a while that marrow had the best tasting part of most meats but I was nervous about trying it. I’m so glad I did though.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Papa John's Pizza

I ordered some pizza from Papa John’s last week for the first time in years. When I first got this place I would order it almost every single week and tear it up. They had the garlic dipping sauce which is pretty much melted butter. Their crust was amazing. And then one day they decided to start making chicken and their quality dropped. They started forgetting the sauce. The dough was awkward. So I stopped until last week when I tried to order Domino’s twice. One time they dropped the phone and the other they put me on hold and forgot about me. So I said kiss my ass and ordered Papa John’s for the first time in years. It was awesome. Crust is back, garlic sauce is back, and they brought it faster than Domino’s even though they are further away. Screw you, Domino’s.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

At Omi Sushi Again

I went to Omi Sushi yesterday with Miss E. yesterday. It was good. After some issues with brown rice we got our lunch special and it was delicious. I got the iced green tea (which I added sugar to), miso soup, and of course the shrimp tempura sushi and whatever that is on the right. It was good and I used a lot of wasabi. As I sat there listening to Lupe Fiasco being blasted out the radio I realized how many good sushi places I have passed up over the years and that I need to try an all you can eat place once. I get full off sushi fast and cant imagine me plowing through a lot of it. But we’ll see…

Saturday, July 16, 2011

At The Counter Again

So I went to The Counter on Wilshire near the La Brea Tar Pits with South Paw. She had never gone to the Counter so I was more than happy to share the joy that Cam once introduced me to. For started we got the fries and onion rings combo. The onion rings weren’t like regular onion rings. They were these tiny little onion shreds and they were really good and served with this awesome barbecue sauce. I liked these more than regular ass onion rings because they weren’t as strong.

For a burger I got a jalapeno cheese burger and garlic aioli sauce with a Sprite. They forgot the bacon. They forgot the bacon! I’ll get to this later. It was really good though. I always get more stuff well done after the infamous Dante Gets Food Poisoning Incident of ‘08. I forgot to take a picture of South Paw’s burger before she started eating it but here it is. It had bacon. Mine didn’t. She enjoyed it and we both got full as I always do when at The Counter. Now allow me to rant about wait staff for a moment.

Our waiter was nice enough. She was nice. Wasn’t mean. She was just nonexistent. Now to set the scene, it was not busy there. Plenty of waiters working. No loud kids or large groups to serve. South Paw told me to mention that my bacon wasn’t on it but I was hungry now and didn’t want them to take my food back and wipe boogers on it. I waited a while to get a refill (which those of you that have eaten with me I will drink 5 drinks and not go to the bathroom). Then we had to wait for a while to get the check. Why? Because our waitress was outside chatting with a cute guy.

Was he a customer? No. He was just there. So I find another waiter and ask him for our check. He says he’ll tell our waitress. Sigh. She finally arrives and gets our check and then returns to tell us she will be back with our change. Then she arrives more minutes later to ask us if we want dessert. The thing that sucks is that I would have loved a milkshake but we had waited so long I was ready to leave.

The Counter on Wilshire has really good food but hiring these kids that want to be actors or whatever (yes, I am Mr. Presumptuous) that make me wait for food only to forget the bacon, which is an unforgivable offense, is getting to me.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Lala's On Melrose

Went to Lala’s for dinner with Cam. It was so good! I usually get the half polla ala something or other picante, an empanada, and Sprite. This time I decided on a chicken picante sandwich with fries and a lemonade. Damn, it was good! I told Cam that I didn’t feel like dealing with my normal meal (“I don’t feel like fighting with my food…”). It was super good and I was glad I decided to try something new for once.

Cam got this rice deal thing. I cant even pretend to remember what it was called or what all was in it.

Before the meal we waited until we got this bread and stuff. Its so good but you have to be careful you not to get full off of it. I love Lala’s and a while back their quality dropped (after the Deadly Tomato Scare a few years back) but they are back in business!

Magnolia's Bakery

I went to this place I never noticed called Magnolia’s on 3rd which is a cute ass bakery. Going in there feels all refreshing because it smells like sweet and joy. They have these delicious looking cakes, pies, muffins, cupcakes, and drinks all across the counter. After seeing a picture of this banana pudding that Miss E. had posted I had to try it. After a few bites I was full but saved the rest and will be tearing it apart in a couple hours. Magnolia’s has tables but no chairs so you sit against the windows and watch all the other good things you can try. Very fancy looking and worth whatever you spend there.

King's Road Cafe

Yesterday me and Miss E. went to this place called King’s Road Café. Its over on Beverly and King’s Road which isn’t very far from me. I walked it in the heat and sat my ass down. This is one of those places that is usually so packed that I never even try to eat there. Plus no one had ever told me about it and I don’t try new things unless I am invited to. So I order a turkey avocado burger that came with a side of sweet potato fries and a 7-Up. It was really good. Possibly the best turkey burger I ever had. It came with a big ass salad but I didn’t touch it. The service was good and the prices were about average for this type of place. You will get full so it’s a good idea to just share.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Hooter's In Long Beach

While seeing fireworks in Long Beach with Coco (who did my tattoo) we wanted to grab something to eat. At first we were going to head to Outback Steakhouse but the wait was 45 minutes and we would’ve missed the fireworks. So after seeing the explosions every place had stopped serving food and only had booze. Heat and hunger plus liquor is stupid so we hunted for food. Chili’s, Boston’s Pizza, and a few other places I had never heard of were done for the night.

But Hooter’s wasn’t!

So we get to Hooter’s which I’ve eaten at before in Santa Monica near the beach. That location is fast, good service, more legs than hooters. I had used the gift certificates I’d won from being on Adam Carolla’s Show when he was on 97.1 here in Los Angeles. It was great. The one in Long Beach, not so much.

They say they called us for our tables but we didn’t hear it apparently. We got our seat and I ordered a burger and fries with bacon and Sierra Mist. Coco ordered crab cakes. So a minute before my food arrived they let Coco know that the crab cakes were non existent. So she ordered what I had. They finally bring her food and…its wrong. They brought some mushroom and cheese burger. Coco ate it but it wasn’t what she wanted. The waitress asked if she wanted to switch it but it was that thing where you ask praying someone says no.

I hope this place isn’t like this all the time. Strange service (waitress took our order on a napkin), wrong food brought, blaring television followed by even louder music, and a glass case keeping a old man who stared at all the waitresses while they worked. The food was good but, wow, I’ll try not to go to Hooter’s in Long Beach if I have a choice. Which I do.

Saturday, July 2, 2011


I hate CVS. Ever since Sav-On became CVS their customer service has been the shits. Yes, I also know that when Thrifty became Rite-Aid they have become shit as well. But there is something magical about the customer service at CVS. Specifically the ones on Santa Monica & La Cienega and the one on 3rd & Fairfax. The latter is what I’ll be bitching about.

Like I mentioned in the previous blog, me and Cam went out for dinner. Afterwards I needed to grab some stuff and CVS was on the way home. We joked about the many types of razors for women (“Why would you need a lavender scented handle…?”) and how I once bought kitchen towels instead of toilet paper (“This is gonna suck so hard!”) before heading to the cashiers. There were two. One other person was in line being taken care of.

Enter Bethany.

Now, we didn’t catch her actual name so we named her Bethany and the car ride home consisted of us making fun of her for being so bitchy. I will try my best to log what happened next.

Bethany: “You can use the automated check out.”

Me: “I’m good.”

Cam: “No, I don’t like using them.”

Bethany: “Its really easy.”

Me: “Uh…” (looks at Cam) “…naw.”

Cam: “I’m pro-people.”

Bethany: “I’m pro-no lines!” (after a few hiccups with my machine the transaction was complete) “Now wasn’t that easy…?”

At this point I am shocked. I’m surprised she didn’t pat me on my retarded little head and hand me a sugar free lollipop. This whorecunt (thank you Dan-e-o) who obviously was sent by corporate, which is code for the people who do things that make life miserable for low waged employees, to make shit hard. But to her she is making things easier.

I fucking hate automated check outs. Fucking cant stand them. They break all the time. There’s always someone whose job it is to stand at them to help people because weird shit always happens like it wont feel your purchase or it wont take your cash in which case it asks you to find a human!

And for anyone that tries to defend shitty attitudes at work, go get your shine box. I’ve worked at Petco, mopped up vomit, slanged porn, sorted literally thousands of packages of mail, and moved dead bodies. I know what a shitty day is and never took it out on anyone. But maybe Bethany didn’t realize she was being an asshat. Maybe she was a new robot fresh off the assembly line and couldn’t tell the difference between condescending and helpful.

It does not compute.

Nonna's Empanadas

Me and Cam went to this place using a Groupon called Nonna’s Empanada’s over here near The Beverly Center (8570 W. 3rd Street, Los Angeles, CA 90048). I had never heard of this place and had to have passed it dozens of times. We went in and grabbed a seat outside since it was Africa warm even at night and ordered chicken empanadas, these small croissants, veggie empanadas (for Cam of course), and a ham and cheese sandwich (grilled) for me. This food was fucking amazing. The croissants were these tiny little sweet pieces of heaven. I have to go back to try their pizza. Oh, and did I mention that they deliver?!