F.U CVS

I hate CVS. Ever since Sav-On became CVS their customer service has been the shits. Yes, I also know that when Thrifty became Rite-Aid they have become shit as well. But there is something magical about the customer service at CVS. Specifically the ones on Santa Monica & La Cienega and the one on 3rd & Fairfax. The latter is what I’ll be bitching about.

Like I mentioned in the previous blog, me and Cam went out for dinner. Afterwards I needed to grab some stuff and CVS was on the way home. We joked about the many types of razors for women (“Why would you need a lavender scented handle…?”) and how I once bought kitchen towels instead of toilet paper (“This is gonna suck so hard!”) before heading to the cashiers. There were two. One other person was in line being taken care of.

Enter Bethany.

Now, we didn’t catch her actual name so we named her Bethany and the car ride home consisted of us making fun of her for being so bitchy. I will try my best to log what happened next.

Bethany: “You can use the automated check out.”


Me: “I’m good.”


Cam: “No, I don’t like using them.”


Bethany: “Its really easy.”


Me: “Uh…” (looks at Cam) “…naw.”


Cam: “I’m pro-people.”


Bethany: “I’m pro-no lines!” (after a few hiccups with my machine the transaction was complete) “Now wasn’t that easy…?”

At this point I am shocked. I’m surprised she didn’t pat me on my retarded little head and hand me a sugar free lollipop. This whorecunt (thank you Dan-e-o) who obviously was sent by corporate, which is code for the people who do things that make life miserable for low waged employees, to make shit hard. But to her she is making things easier.

I fucking hate automated check outs. Fucking cant stand them. They break all the time. There’s always someone whose job it is to stand at them to help people because weird shit always happens like it wont feel your purchase or it wont take your cash in which case it asks you to find a human!

And for anyone that tries to defend shitty attitudes at work, go get your shine box. I’ve worked at Petco, mopped up vomit, slanged porn, sorted literally thousands of packages of mail, and moved dead bodies. I know what a shitty day is and never took it out on anyone. But maybe Bethany didn’t realize she was being an asshat. Maybe she was a new robot fresh off the assembly line and couldn’t tell the difference between condescending and helpful.

It does not compute.