Gyu-Kaku

Gyu-Kaku is a place on La Cienega that I have passed a billion times and never went to. Tonight Heidi took me and some of her lady friends and we ate some awesome ass food. Okay. Seriously. This past month I have been eating some of the best and new food I have ever had in my life.



They had the nerve to ask if we wanted an appetizer knowing good and damn well how much food we were getting. There was enough food for six people and every one of us left full and happy.



I will try and remember all the stuff we had. I know there were multiple types of beef, this great chicken that was already seasoned, some pork, two kinds of rice, and I know I am leaving stuff out. Oh, there was two giant salads.



This place is really good. The table we were seated at had the little grill right in front of us on the table and little tongs that we used to grill the food ourselves. It smelled so good and didn’t take long for the food too be ready. As soon as it was done someone grabbed a piece. I would definitely love to go back here and have a good time with friends. Make reservations though unless you wanna get kicked out for a larger group that has reservations. Great wait staff and very fast service. Check it out for sure.

Choolate Rice Milk?!

Dairy free. Gluten free. Vegan. Kosher. Rice milk. Lactose free. Soy Free. Fat free. Whole grain. Calcium enriched. Vitamin fortified. Trans fat free. Unsweetened.



There is nothing about any of the words above that would be used to describe anything I eat. Julia gave this to me and promised me that it would be some of the best chocolate milk I have ever had. I’ll be damned if she wasn’t telling the truth. This was good…meaning is good because I’m still drinking some right now. I looked at the ingredients and was like “What the hell is this made of? Air and hope?” But its good and made by a company called Good Karma. If I like it chances are you will

Trader Joe's Chicken Fried Rice

I have made this chicken fried rice from Trader Joe’s about three times from one bag. It could have been four but I am a greedy bastard which you’d probably guess from the fact that I have a food blog. This bag was less than $4 and makes about four meals. That’ a dollar a meal! Awesome. It takes a couple minutes to make and tastes good. Actually the rice tastes better than most food places. Try it.

Chicken & Chayote

For dinner yesterday Julia C.’s mom made a really good chicken salad. There was also this flatbread that I had never had before as well as this vegetable called chayote. Sounds like coyote.



I had never had this strange vegetable let alone even heard of it. It looked like a pear and felt like a pear on my tongue but to me it had no flavor. Julia put a little lime on it but still it tasted like lime and nothing. So bizarre. I have been over Julia’s twice and each time I have some new food and loved it.

All About The Bread

Yesterday Julia C. and I went to this place over here on Melrose near La Brea called All About The Bread. I had never heard of this place even though its really not that far from my house. We head there in this blazing ass heat and grabbed some delicious ass sandwiches. I got the special of the day, a honey lime something or other chicken sandwich.



Oh, it was good! It was so good! Julia got a different sandwich that she said was a bit salty perhaps because of the pickles but I had some and still liked it. The prices were not ridiculous and the bread had a cheese baked into it that made it just so good. I got a Orangina and Sprite to drink. Those sandwiches were 85% crippling. We could barely move our asses afterwards. I say if you can give this place a try. It is really good.

Fresh Fruits & Vegetables

This past Sunday I went to a farmer’s market with Ms. L. It was pretty damned groovy. I have only been to these type of places a few times and each time I feel totally lost. I don’t know anything about fruits and vegetables. Every time I see vegetables that I have never seen before an actual question mark floats over my head.



Ms. L. was pretty good with getting me to try some fruits. I even had a, what did she call it, damn I forget. It was some kind of cucumber. It was supposed to be sweeter than regular ones but my tongue was like “Damn you, Dante!” I tried this delicious peach and got a couple of them. Ms. L. gave me a plum and some apples and I have eaten all of them. I have an avocado that I am eyeballing and trying to figure out what to do with.



I also got this ham and cheese crepe. It was okay. Nothing to write home about. Ms. L. got this way better breakfast thing that had Hillshire Farm sausage. I love me some Hillshire Farm sausage and had to keep from eating her food up! If it had more cheese maybe it would’ve been better.

Simpler Times Beer

Before we headed to the Greene’s for awesome ass food we stopped by Trader Joe’s. I know I have been writing about this place a lot lately but damn it that place is great. We were looking for some wine to bring and saw this cheap ass beer called Simpler Times. Now I am not a huge fan of beer. It usually tastes like horse pee and does nothing but make me horny. This beer was actually very good and didn’t give you that weird aftertaste. And who can beat an actual good beer that costs only $2.99? Come on. I even made a theme song for Simpler Times.

Wine & Chicken

Saturday afternoon and evening was spent with The Greene’s and my best friend Camille. Mr. Greene was making some chicken on his grill and some corn on the cob that he used rub on. It was amazing. As soon as we arrived the wine started flowing and it was good. I loved hanging out with the Greene’s and Camille. We spent hours talking about everything. Fun times and one of the few times in my life where I feel like an “adult.”



You know what I mean? It wasn't one of those things where a bunch of people get together and get wasted (which is fine every once in a while) but just some grown ass people hanging out and enjoying good food and adult beverages.

Trader Joe's Mandarin Chicken

I made some Mandarin orange chicken that I bought from Trader Joe’s. This was way more delicious than half the mandarin chicken I have had at restaurants. Actually it was better than half of them. Very fast and easy to make. The part that took the longest was the long white rice I made with it.

Most problems I have with any food like this that comes with a sauce and chicken is that one of two things happen. 1. There’s a lot of chicken and a couple spoonfuls of sauce or 2. there’s an assload of sauce and a couple pieces of hungry ass looking chicken. Like the leftover pieces that you know is nothing but chicken knuckles. This was a huge exception. It had more chicken than I could just sit and eat alone and two (that’s right, two!) packs of sauce that tasted amazing and would be good as its own dipping sauce with something else. And it costs less than $5 and will last for about four meals (that’s bachelor speak for four people). I highly recommended this and will be buying it again!

Trader Joe's Pizza

I got some pizza from Trader Joe’s today along with a bunch of other healthy ass stuff. I got this pizza and it was awesome. It was a chicken barbecue thing with Gouda and some other cheese and red onions. I ate half for lunch and just writing about it makes me wanna eat the other half right now. Which I think I’ll do. Yay, Trader Joe’s! And it cost less than $4 thank you very much.

Maki & Sushi

Tuesday I went to hang out with Julia C. at this place called Maki & Sushi. For those of you that don’t know I am not a fan of sushi. I had tried it before at this place called Todai at the Beverly Center in the 90’s. The next time I had it was at Wokano over in Santa Monica. I didn’t like it. The problem I have is when I eat sushi it doesn’t taste like how it looks so my brain takes forever to process this new information.

When we got to Maki & Sushi I got the lunch special. It comes with two types of sushi, tea, a small salad (which I had a bite of), an oyster, and soup. It was awesome! I ordered the spicy crab sushi and the shrimp tempura sushi. I loved each one of them. I was shocked at how full I got from this stuff. Julia also gave me one of her, I believe salmon, sushi. It was very big and very raw. She wanted to trick me into not knowing it was raw. Nice try, Julia!

I say break out of your box and try something you didn’t like before years ago. You may be as surprised as I was.

Lola's On Fairfax

Last night I went to this place called Lola’s on Fairfax and Santa Monica. it’s a martini bar. Or maybe its not. Either way they make good martinis. I went there with Heidi, Michelle, and two of Heidi’s friends. It was a cool ass spot. And deceptively large and loud. From the outside it looks small. They were playing a bunch of old school rap songs that we were laughing at. Good times.


Most places depending on where you go bring you things like tortilla chips and salsa, bread and oil or whatever. This place brings fancy chips and some vegetable things I didn’t even try and touch. The chips weren’t crunchy and that was strange but the more I ate the better they tasted. Michelle said they tasted like they were made in truffle oil. I’ll take her word for it.

I had a martini whose name I cant recall. It was very effective. And when I say effective I mean it got me drunk really fast. Like, really fast!

Oh, the macaroni! Heidi was raving about this stuff and she didn’t lie when she said it was the best macaroni ever! It was enough for two people so I had leftovers. This place is super pricey though and not somewhere I would go to often even though it tasted great. Very trendy type place but no one was an asshole and the waitress was nice. But watch out for the gratuity charge.

Purple Drank!

I love grape drink. Its good. Its pretty. It goes great with barbecue. This glass isn’t even Kool-Aid. Its like some cheap stuff I got at the 99 Cent Store. I don’t care. I like it. Sugar. Water. And of course…purple.

Tilapia Fish With Fries

Tilapia fish is good. I have made it a few times and it still makes me feel nervous. Tonight I decided to try frying this tilapia fish I have had and hoping that it turned out okay. It did! I used a small amount of garlic salt on the fish and the fries and a minuscule amount of cayenne pepper. I cant wait to make this again tomorrow. Now I’m staring at those salmon steaks and imagining what’s gonna happen next.

The Grove & Farmer's Market

I headed to The Grove and the Farmer’s Market today. The contrast between the places is crazy. They are so close together but so very different. The Grove is busy in the afternoon. Full of tourists, celebrities, and folks that hate watching where they walk. Its cool if you have a destination like the theater or The Cheesecake Factory.



The Farmer’s Market, while busy, isn’t as crammed with people. Just lots and lots of food. You can seriously find food from most countries and a variety of fruits and vegetables. Not that I’d know anything about that. Today I walked through the market more thoroughly than I ever have.



There was this barbecue sauce place that had soda flavored sauces. Seemed kinda scary but my cousin seemed intrigued.



The funny thing about most of the sauces is that they sound so damned threatening. “Kiss My Ass!” “Hog Ass.” “Slap Yo Mama!” Fuck You In The Ear!” Okay, the last one I made up but the rest were real. Check out the one below!



That’s real! Head to The Grove or Farmer’s Market and enjoy yourself. Its fun to play tourist sometimes. Minus the khaki shorts, flip flops, and tucked in t-shirt.

Oh, and my cousin bought a bag of kettle corn! This was butter toffee!

Back At Toast

I went to Toast with my cousin today. It was so awesome. It felt weird not seeing Camille sitting there across from me since every single time I have been it was with her. My cousin had never had it before and I couldn’t take her to The Counter again. Gotta try new things, you know?



This is a picture of her burger. I took one of mine but it turned out to be a video. Yeah. I’m special like that sometimes. I go a regular burger with a side of ranch dressing. Cousin got a burger with cheese (“I gotta have cheese on my Whopper!”) with bacon and “smashed” potatoes. Yes, smashed. She liked her meal and that was cool. I thought about going to Umami Burger but they have been getting some bad reviews lately. And the last time I went they didn’t even have any drinks. I shit you not. No drinks. Just water. Toast is a really cool place to eat as long as you don’t go on the weekend. I read a bunch of reviews and the ones that are bad are from two years ago and sound like bitter actors.

Bodega Wine Bar

Remember that wine bar I mentioned a few blogs ago and couldn’t remember the name? yeah. That one. Its called Bodega Wine Bar. Its on Sunset & Vine and is awesome. Good wine. Good setting. And good food. This place has really good food. The pizza tastes like it was made. I know that doesn’t make sense so let me explain.



It tastes like whoever made it actually takes pride in what they serve. I say head there and enjoy a good time. They have board games, an assload of different wines to drink, and the best bartender I have ever met. Edwin is only the second bartender I have ever met that wasn’t a dick and the first was a chick so there. Go there alone and chill or go with a group of friends and laugh your ass off. And eat and drink of course.

Eating Healthy An' Stuff

In an attempt to eat healthier I have started to get away from the sugary, sweet, amazing cereal I have eaten my entire life like Trix, Cap’N Crunch, Lucky Charms, and Fruity Pebbles and have started eating this healthy stuff. It actually not as bad as I thought it would be. This one I got from Trader Joe’s and is less than $3. You wouldn’t believe how expensive eating cereal can be! For the stuff I usually get its about $4.29 with milk being close to that price. That’s nuts and a half. Now I am eating healthier and saving money. Go me.

Still Loving The Counter

A photo of the burger I had at The Counter on Sunset & Fairfax when I hung out with my cool ass cousin. I don’t know how I managed to forget to post this picture seeing as how I have a damn food blog. This one had cheddar cheese, bacon, thick grilled onions, with a side of guacamole and garlic sauce. Damn, I love The Counter.

Honey barbeque Lay's

I was talking to the hotness on the phone and was craving something but I couldn’t think of what it was. I had already had some Flaming Hot chips earlier. I looked for the jalapeno flavored ones but they were out. So I cursed on the inside. But then I spotted this lovely little bag and grabbed it.



These are Honey Barbeque Lay’s. They taste okay. I mean, I was hoping for more honey and less barbeque. They actually taste very similar to the mesquite flavored Lay’s. If you see them grab them but they’re nothing to seriously wet your draws over. If I had a Sprite I bet they would taste better…

Damn, I Love Cupcake

This is a cupcake that Laura got for her birthday and gave to me while she kept the other. Yes, those are googly eyes and yes the cupcake was delicious. It was chocolate flavored with a ton of icing. Yay cupcakes! Thanks, Laura.

A Toast To Toast

This is the awesome ass burger I got with sweet potato fries. I am now obsessed with these kinda fries.



I went to Toast on 3rd with Camille last week I think. I love this place and never would’ve gone here if she hadn’t taken me. Its one of those places where depending on when you go its either super packed or almost empty. I prefer the latter. I hate eating in crowded places. I know most time when people see a crowded place they feel the need to jump in line and check it out. I’m the opposite. I like quiet eating and not feeling rushed because dozens of people have their faces pressed against the glass and glaring at me waiting for me to finish my meal. Check out Toast. Just not when its busy.

Booze Hound

I like an adult beverage. Yeah. I first had a drink when I was 22 and it was this rudy poo ass champagne. I almost stopped there. It just fell in line with a list of my first being terribly disappointing. You fill in the blanks.

After a while I went from hard lemonades to Corona to Heineken to hard ass liquor. Once I had a vodka tonic that was it. I rarely touch beer anymore. If its there, fine. But its never my first choice. In the picture is a vodka tonic that was just one of many drinks I had last Saturday at a wedding I attended.



From what a friend and a tablecloth we kept notes on said I had 3 Long Island iced teas, 2 vodka tonics, 1 glass of champagne, and 4 shots of Jose Cuervo. And then later on I had a cup of rum and Coke.



I like booze but its not something that should be done often. Me and my liver have a deal.

Trying New Things

For those of you that don’t know, I am not an adventurous person. You will never hear me say “I’ll try anything once!” Some call me stubborn. I call them people who just met me. Last weekend I hung out with Julia C. at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to catch a flick (“Wild Style”).



Each time we have gone to these films Julia C. manages to bring something I have never had before. Last time it was this sweet bread that was like a giant ass pastry that gave me wood. This time it was bread, some kinda seaweed and rice stuff (that tasted meaty though it wasn’t), these amazing (!!!) mushrooms, this kind of lemon like seasoned stuff we used to dip the bread in, and great cheese.

I was full by the time the film started.

Gettin' Sticky Down Town!

About a month or so ago I went to this place called Syrup downtown (in Los Angeles). I had never been here but had kinda heard of it. Heidi took me during a break we took during The Mormons concert. I had never had a crepe before. This was a good introduction to it.



This thing had raspberries, blueberries, vanilla ice cream, whip cream, and some magical red syrup on the plate. Me and Heidi inhaled this like we were friggin’ orphans or something. I would love to go to this place again.

Swinger's For Breakfast

Me and Camille went to have breakfast at Swinger’s over here on Beverly Blvd. Now, this place is very hit or miss when it comes to the quality of the food. You can go one day and have great service and an amazing meal and then the next its surly waitresses and almost cold food. But this breakfast was exactly what we wanted.

I had pancakes, bacon (mmm…), and scrambled eggs. I washed it down with three Sprites and could barely move afterwards.



Once again Camille’s hands make an appearance. She had the same meal as me but she got chicken sausage instead. I did not know chicken sausage like that existed.

The Counter On Sunset Blvd.

I have been to The Counter up here on Sunset near Fairfax three times since I found out it was there. I fucking love The Counter and if I ever eat a better burger I am gonna bite my fucking tongue off. I love this place so hard you don’t even know.



See, I was all about Umami Burger until Camille first took me to The Counter in Santa Monica. Now I have gone with my cousin and two of my favorite people. They let you build your burger however you want (yes, there are vegetarian options but why would I discuss such things?). The sweet potato fries are delicious. Just don’t bother getting the lemonade. Its pretty much Minute Maid.



Look below for more porn for fat people.

Thai Me Down

There is this place that Heidi has taken me to quite a few times. What is the name? I have no idea. But whenever Heidi days she wants Thai food this is the place we go. Located heading east on Hollywood Blvd. we have on many occasions pigged out at this place. The staff knows Heidi (except for the new waitress who was a jackass…) and we always get great food and great service.



The pork larb is amazing. We always get it mild because Heidi says that the hot version would hurt my feelings or something. The mild is spicy enough and there’s no need to go past mild sometimes. Mixed with white rice this makes me very cheerful.



This is fried tofu. Dante don’t eat tofu of any kind.



Ah, the beef pad-see-you. That is not even close to how its spelled but its my blog and I can make food names up if I want. This in any form (beef, chicken, pork) is really good. I cant go to this place and not get this. That would be wrong.



The thing I like about this place is that I have been there so many times with Heidi that they know my ass is not gonna get one Thai iced tea. I fucking love that stuff and would take it through a needle if I could. I am so glad this place exists…even though the first time I went Michelle’s tire exploded before our trip to Knott’s Berry Farm.