The Counter On Sunset Blvd.

I have been to The Counter up here on Sunset near Fairfax three times since I found out it was there. I fucking love The Counter and if I ever eat a better burger I am gonna bite my fucking tongue off. I love this place so hard you don’t even know.



See, I was all about Umami Burger until Camille first took me to The Counter in Santa Monica. Now I have gone with my cousin and two of my favorite people. They let you build your burger however you want (yes, there are vegetarian options but why would I discuss such things?). The sweet potato fries are delicious. Just don’t bother getting the lemonade. Its pretty much Minute Maid.



Look below for more porn for fat people.

Thai Me Down

There is this place that Heidi has taken me to quite a few times. What is the name? I have no idea. But whenever Heidi days she wants Thai food this is the place we go. Located heading east on Hollywood Blvd. we have on many occasions pigged out at this place. The staff knows Heidi (except for the new waitress who was a jackass…) and we always get great food and great service.



The pork larb is amazing. We always get it mild because Heidi says that the hot version would hurt my feelings or something. The mild is spicy enough and there’s no need to go past mild sometimes. Mixed with white rice this makes me very cheerful.



This is fried tofu. Dante don’t eat tofu of any kind.



Ah, the beef pad-see-you. That is not even close to how its spelled but its my blog and I can make food names up if I want. This in any form (beef, chicken, pork) is really good. I cant go to this place and not get this. That would be wrong.



The thing I like about this place is that I have been there so many times with Heidi that they know my ass is not gonna get one Thai iced tea. I fucking love that stuff and would take it through a needle if I could. I am so glad this place exists…even though the first time I went Michelle’s tire exploded before our trip to Knott’s Berry Farm.

Not A Wino But...

Oh, how I have neglected my poor food blog! Okay. I have a lot of these to do so let me knock these mofos out! There is this wine bar on Sunset Blvd. that I went to with Laura that is amazing. After a Shakesphere play at Griffith Park (which is sadly over) we headed to a wine bar that was amazing.

The atmosphere was very cool. The music was good. And the patrons were very awesome. Everyone there was there to have a good time and a good time was had by all. We started with a red wine that while they came in small glasses were very good. I’m not used to drinking wine that is room temperature but I guess that’s how its supposed to be had sometimes. I took this picture and have no recollection of doing so.



We also had a couple of pizzas. No, we didn’t eat both because we shared with the people at the bar. The pizzas were very good as well. This place (wish I could remember its name) has board games at the bar. I won at both Connect Four and Uno thank you very much



This spot is located near Tender Greens on Sunset Blvd. The bartender was nice and everyone at the bar got along like we were all friends who decided to hook up after work or something. I seriously cant wait to go back.

Chili Cheese Cheeto's Bitches

“Its so good I wanna put my dick in it”

“I want it to put its dick in me!”



This is how I felt after trying these new Chili Cheese Cheeto’s. My word, they are delicious! I get pissed when these new foods come out and I’m out of the loop. But I am glad I saw these. They make my foodhole very happy.

I got them at 7/11 and don’t know where else they are. If you see them get them. You will be very happy that you did. Its hard to type with cheesy ass fingers…

The Counter In Santa Monica

I know I have written a few blogs about good burgers. Today I was introduced to this place called The Counter on Centinela and 31st (I think…) in Sana Monica that had one of the best burgers I have ever had in my life. Definitely in the top three and may be number one.

There was nothing to not like about this place. The music was awesome. I heard everything from Mos Def to Carlos Santana within minutes of each other. The atmosphere was wonderful. Not too bright and not too dark. This actually affects how I enjoy my meals. Clean bathrooms. Friendly and fast waiters (ask for Ashley) and even though the place was packed we got seated immediately.

The Counter is different in that they give you a clipboard with a checklist of what you’d like on your burger. There are so many choices of things I would never think to put on a burger and sauces I had never heard of. I’ll get to what I got on my in a moment.



I started off with a vanilla shake. Damn, this thing was good! It was real. Camille was horrified when I told her what was used in the McDonald’s shakes. This was a bit pricey but after my first sip of it that scene from “Pulp Fiction” played in my head when they paid for an expensive shake. If its delicious its worth it and you really cant complain.



Next we got fries and fried pickles. The fries were actually perfect. I didn’t need to add salt or even use ketchup. They were just great the way they were. Camille ordered the fried pickles and I had never had them before. So good! They came with an apricot sauce to dip them in and I was shocked at how good they tasted. Yes, that's Camille's hand doing another run-in.



On to my burger. I got a 1/3 pound burger. I asked if I should get the 2/3 pound one and Camille laughed. Thank god I got the “smaller” one. It was ridiculous in size! It had grilled onions that literally melted in your mouth. Greek feta cheese. Bacon. Mayo. A strong barbecue sauce that I drizzled on top. I am still full from this thing and want some more! I had to use two hands the entire time while eating this beast! I was so full and giddy I couldn’t stop laughing, even as I waddled out of the place.



Camille got a vegetarian burger that actually looked good. It had some fancy cheese and stuff. I really should keep track of what my friends eat.



If you are ever in Santa Monica you really should go to The Counter. I absolutely adore this place and will be back at least two more times before the end of the year!

Numero Uno Is Number One

So I recently went to Numero Uno with Camille. I hadn’t been there for a long ass time. Like, decades. We were trying to figure out where to go and decided on going here. Oh, god. I am so happy we did. This place immediately became one of my favorite new places to eat. I had no idea Numero Uno was so fancy looking inside. Or so close to my own damned house.

We started off with these dough balls. I forget the name of them. It was something in Italian. Don’t judge me. They were covered in garlic, butter, and had a taste of what could only be described as sugar. I am so glad we got this instead of garlic bread. There were six of them and after two I was already getting full. I had to save room for dinner.



Oh, the pizza! It was thick. I kept calling it cake. I got pepperoni with chunks of tomato and Camille got the…uh…I forget. It didn’t have meat so I didn’t eat it. It was really good and after a slice and a half I tapped out. The two glasses of pink lemonade didn’t help. I got the small while Camille got the individual. My pizza was slightly larger and thankfully I didn’t get the medium or else I wouldn’t be here to tell this tale.



If you haven’t been to Numero Uno in a long ass time like me, I say give it a try. So good!

Pho!

I had Vietnamese food for the very first time and I’d like to say, well done, Vietnam! Wow, I did not expect this to be as good as it was. Me, Cam, and Julia C. went to this place that’s a hole in the wall in Silverlake. I cant even tell you the name of the place. Its that hidden.

I got egg rolls. Like, for real egg rolls. Not the punk ass ones I’m used to full of vegetables and like the intention of shrimp or chicken. Not even a hint, the intention. But these egg rolls here! These egg rolls here! Delicious! They have three and each is crammed with great chicken and shrimp. Yes, that is Cam’s hand stealing one of my egg rolls.



Camille and Julia got this thing. Not sure what it is but it had shrimp and they loved it.



And then there was the pho! This thing was a beast! It looks like there’s a small amount of beef on top but underneath there is pretty much a big ass steak and noodles underneath. I ate some that night. Some the next morning. And I still have another meals worth left. This place was so great and yet another place to add to my list of great new food.

Loteria At Farmer's Market

A few weeks ago I went to grab some breakfast with my homeslice, Laura. I had planned on getting the same old and having some breakfast. Laura suggested this place called Loteria at The Grove over here near Farmer’s Market. Oh, I am so glad we went here. Its buried amongst all the other tons of places at Farmer’s Market. Just pull up a seat at the counter and enjoy the smells.

We got these chips with really good salsa. It wasn’t the kind like you get at the store that has big ass chunks of tomato that you know isn’t real but its all you can buy. This was really good and spicy but not so spicy that the flavor was lost.



I had to ask Laura to name the stuff I had so here goes. I had the huevos con chorizo and it was amazing! I almost snorted it up my nose. It was very filling and I didn’t expect it to be. On the side was some mashed potatoes that had some green stuff in it. I don’t know what they were but they didn’t take away from the flavor. What I loved about the potatoes was that I didn’t have to add anything. And of course Limeaid is very win. Also black beans which I didn’t eat but I dipped my chips in.



Laura got this. Not sure what it was but it looked like it tasted great.

Tip Or Not To Tip?

This may be a sore subject for some and I know this is my food blog but this is something that comes up almost every time I go out and eat. How much do I tip? Most people do the 20% thing. The problem I have is that not every time I go out and eat I don’t get service worthy of giving someone a 20% tip. Twice it has happened when a waitress come outside and mentioned the tip being smaller than they thought it should be.

Years ago at that great Brazilian spot Versailles’s I had wait service that was so terrible that I left a 10 cent tip. After me and my friend waited 20 minutes for our change that was all that was left. That waiter sucked ass. At IHOP over here as much as I love their food I have an equal amount of hate for the staff there. It’s a revolving door of never was actors with an attitude that screams “What do you mean you cant see how famous I’ll be someday?!”

Lots of people pull the Reservoir Dog speech out and talk about how little money the wait staff makes. Get a new job. Most of us at some point have had some terrible job but there’s nothing that will make a crappy job go by slower than treating customers like shit. Yes, there are shitty customers at every job that involves humans just as there are shitty co-workers at every job on the planet. But don’t treat me like crap because you had a bad day or the lady at table 4 has a screaming ass baby.

I don’t go by the 20% rule. I go by different things that occur during the meal. I ask myself certain questions. How often did the waiter come to the table? Did they forget we are here? How many times did they refill my cup? Are they trying to rush me through my meal? Things like that affect how I will tip. Am I a bad person because of this?

King & I

King & I rules. I had never been to this place until one day while hanging out with Camille and Kirby we went. I was in love from the very first sip of their Thai iced teas. I always judge Thai places by how good they are. I’ll never make the mistake of getting one from the doughnut shop ever again. Damn, that was a bad idea. Anyway…



We started off with the potstickers which were so damned good. I actually stopped mid-sentence to talk about how good they were. And they give you soy sauce that isn’t all salty. Very good and you barely need it since the potstickers have so much flavor.



And yes, thanks to Kiyoshi (or his shame at me wanting a fork at a ramen place in Little Tokyo years ago)I know how to use chopsticks.



I usually get the chicken or beef pad Thai but this time I got the chicken fried rice. I am so glad that I did. It was so damned good. Didn’t need anything with it. No sauces or anything sprinkled on top. That is Camille’s hand you see taking my cucumber because you all know I’m not eating that vegetable. This place is on La Cienega a block or so before Olympic. Good fast service with a very nice staff.

Andre's Pizza

I like Andre’s. This place has been the same since I was 18. The same cashier is even there! I always get the same thing when I go there which you can see in the picture. Just pizza, a mango Snapple (the best with Italian food), and some of their garlic bread that tastes more like cheese. Andre’s is a place that I tend to forget about when I am broke or near it. Its across the street from The Farmer’s Market (or the Grove) and in the back behind the Payless. Not hard to find but you cant exactly see it from the street. Give it a try.

Denny's

So I went to Denny’s with Kiyoshi and Flo a couple of days ago. I hadn’t been in a long ass time. I’m more of a IHOP guy myself. But it was good. I got pancakes, eggs (scrambled of course!), bacon, and sausage. It was the smaller Denny’s on Sunset and cool. Not all loud and crazy like some of those places get. Ever been to the “Rock & Roll Denny’s”? I think they shut it down after a shooting. I went there before. Fucking disaster.



There was some chick with a jacket on. That’s it. She just had a jacket on. Cops were all over the place and folks were getting arrested. I was like “Why in the hell would anyone eat here on purpose?!” Anyway, I enjoyed myself. it’s the conversation. I like places where I can just sit and talk and the wait staff doesn’t bug you and try to rush you out.



I had a mango strawberry tea that they didn’t refill and wanted to leave a small tip but Flo got all Harvey Keitel on me.

Tender Greens

Laura invited me to this place I had never even heard of but had to have seen called Tender Greens on Sunset. Or Hollywood as she put it. I’m joking (this is in case Laura is reading this). She warned me beforehand that this place was healthy because she knows how my diet rolls.



So we get there and they have this big ass dry erase board menu with what they had. I got the chicken chipotle with mashed potatoes. They were trying to force a salad upon me but Laura let them know that there was no way I’d eat it. So I got extra mashed potatoes instead and they were good. I love when I don’t have to add salt or butter. I also got a a lemonade that was, like, real lemonade. I had to add an assload of sugar to make it super sweet.



Laura got the steak with salad and mashed potatoes. It wasn’t warm so they reheated it…kinda. She still seemed to enjoy it and said that this place makes some kind of mistake every time she goes. For desert we got a carrot cake top. Yes, just the top and it was soft and delicious.

Thanks to Laura for getting me out the house and trying something new.

Nanbankan Yakitori

So me and Camille went to Nanbankan on Santa Monica Blvd. Friday night in celebration of my birthday. I had never had this food before and didn’t know what to expect. Camille has awesome taste in food and introduced me to cool ass places to eat before (Toast, Swinger’s) so I had no doubts this would be great as well.

So we get there and sit at the bar area where they bring us an appetizer of this really amazing dipping sauce with vegetables consisting of carrots, celery, and this other vegetable that tasted like nothing. I liked that one and passed Camille my carrots.

Next came the chicken. This was some of the best chicken I have ever tasted. I wanted to weep it tasted so good! Its one of those things where it messes with you because you know you’ll never eat something this good again or experience this newness again. I ate mine as slowly as possible.

Next was the steak. This was some of the juiciest beef I have ever had in my damned life. Again, I tried to eat it slowly and enjoy it. Don’t be fooled by the size of this stuff. It was still filling. The Japanese are magical that way.

The shrimp tempura arrived and was delicious. The batter used melted in the dipping sauce. It was also served with a sweet potato and asparagus. You know I gave Camille the asparagus.

Camille got this corn on the cob that smelled like popcorn. No, I did not try it. Sharing corn on the cob is a big no-no. I will have to try it next time.

This was washed down with an Asahi that we split and tea. Green tea was asked for but it was brown. Who cares. Still very good and cleaned the palate quite well in between dishes. highly recommend going here if you want delicious ass food!

Korean Barbeque!

There’s this Korean barbeque place in (gasp!) Korea Town here in Los Angeles. No, I do not know the name of it but its on Vermont. There’s another place next to it but I’ve never been there. This particular place I hadn’t been to since, like, 2002 or something. Maybe even a year earlier. But last week I got to go with one of my favorite people, Heidi.

This place was awesome. We ended up sitting there for close to three hours chatting about everything while chowing down on some great food. They started us off with some entrees that consisted of a potato salad that was delicious. Some cabbage thing that was super spicy and had some much flavor I couldn’t even taste the cabbage. There was also this weird Jell-O like thing that Heidi had my try. It looked like it would be hard to chew but it actually melted in my food hole.

Heidi also got this dumpling soup thing that was massive. I had a few of them and I’m pretty sure it had chicken in it. Not 100% sure but it tasted like chicken. Please, God, let that have been chicken…

Then came the hotness! We got this big ass plate of beef. That’s right. Beef. It had some onions (grilled as they should always be) tossed in, but, damn. This had to be like a couple pounds of beef! It was grilled and tasted all kinds of wonderful. I almost shit myself. Not in an Astro Burger kinda way either (that food there runs through me like a Kenyan athlete!). That was a euphemism. Or whatever the hell you call those things.

We also had these awesome little steak things that were hard as hell to bite through (actually close to impossible) but, man, they tasted so good! I could eat this stuff every damn day if I could. I plan on going back next week and I will likely get the same damn things again. It was amazing! Oh, and they serve water to you in a metal bowl. I felt like a puppy!