Yogurtland

Last week I went to this place called Yogurtland with my DNA Show partner, Alex. This spot is at the Beverly Connection and I doubt I ever would’ve gone here if he hadn’t suggested it. I got this awesome one with vanilla bean yogurt, pistachio yogurt, topped with Nutter Butter bits, cheesecake bits, and cookie dough to finish it off. Whatever health I could’ve gotten from this was now removed. Alex got…free samples until he was full. You get a cup,  fill it up, and then pay. Pretty damn cheap as well. And you should go just to watch the polarization of customers. Really big people and really small people. But don’t sit near the door. They have one of those air shooting doors and I am shocked the smaller chicks didn’t blow away. Oh, and we saw a guy that was dressed like a beach goer from the 40’s!

Coffee Crisp!

Josh sent me candy! Poet/comedian/golden eyes Josh Smith sent me a candy bar in the mail! I shit you not, a for reals candy bar from all the way from New York. Its called Coffee Crisp. And it tastes good! I have already eaten half of it and am trying to save it. Which means it’ll be gone in an hour. I love how its says it makes a light snack on the side. Light my ass! it’s the size of an average Black cock. Hey, I worked at a porn shop for seven years. Don’t judge me. Any of you that can get this when you want you are very lucky. Check Josh Smith out on youtube and follow him on twitter by clicking the links.

Carniceria Latina

Wrote these so out of order. I started the day with Ms. J. at the park after grabbing some awesome ass food from Carniceria Latina. She had mentioned how good this place was and I was so excited. As soon as we stepped inside I got all excited just smelling everything. I got some chicken empanadas. Oh it was so delicious! I thought the one’s at Lala’s were good. Yeah, they are but they’re nothing like these. Nothing!

Ms. J. got the spinach and cheese ones and beef ones. All of them were good. Yes, even the spinach! I ate it. That happened! We just sat there drinking our awesome sodas on a blanket enjoying the amazing weather eating empanadas. There were also the damned kids with soccer balls, a dog playing catch, and the remote control car powered by gasoline. Carniceria Latina was really good and I really hope to go there again soon!

Porto's

Porto’s is awesome! Ms. J. and I braved literally hundreds of people to get some delicious pastries. We got some guava cream ones and this delicious beef ones. No, I didn’t get pictures of them because they got eaten! The guava ones were so flaky and good. The beef ones made me so happy! Like I mentioned in a previous post, we brought these into The Alcove and snacked on them. When I say there were hundreds of people I’m not kidding. They had to be there for Mother’s Day and the line was out of the door. You have to brave Glendale and the insane ass traffic. But so worth it!

The Alcove

Me and Ms. J. went to The Alcove. I had to have passed this place a hundred times and never saw it. It has a very cool outside area and we sat in the one in back. Everything about this place seemed very chill and nice. I got a white mocha that was so damned good. We snuck some food from Porto’s (which I will write about shortly) and sat there for a long ass time just talking and enjoying our drinks. I would recommended going here if you’re tired of Starbuck’s.

New Drinks I Can't Pronounce!

Materva Verba Mate Soda. All new words for me and a new delicious soda as well. Not new in general but new to me. The only way I could describe the taste was of this snow cone my neighbor when I was little Mr. Bros that was called Popeye flavor. It doesn’t have any particular fruit flavor or anything. Just good. Is good a flavor? It is now! It taste like good!

The next was Jupina. It taste like pineapple. It didn’t have that strong Shasta type taste that burns your nose and throat. It was super good and I had to get both of these because I know when I eat bread I’m gonna drink a lot. Two great new tastes and the day was just starting!

Sake House Miro

Today me and my partner in crime Cam went to this place called Sake House Miro. We tried going there a couple other times and it was closed.  Yeah. Thankfully it wasn’t this time. Its located on La Brea just past Wilshire here in L.A. Or whatever area you wanna call it. Miracle Mile? Bah! On to the review.

We started off with these little spicy cucumber things. “Pretend they’re pickles” Cam told me. I swear she is the only person on Erf that can get me to eat half the shit she does. They were good and not too spicy.

I’m still new to eating sushi so I don’t try and get crazy with it. I have had the pure raw fish ones before but I like to stick with familiar. New scares me. So I got the spicy tuna roll. I have recently been eating at Sushi Cat near my job and they have really good spicy tuna rolls but these were way better. I’m not quite sure what was added but something gave it a little extra kick that was delicious.

I also got the shrimp tempura roll. This is by far my favorite sushi so far. This place made them super thick and by the time I was done I was full. I know. I had no idea that sushi was filling until I had a full plate of it last year with Julia in Pasadena or something. If you’ll notice in the background is Cam’s seaweed salad. It looked like The Man-Thing.

Cam got the V8 sushi. I’m not sure if its because it has something to do with the drink or a car engine. Either way it looked way too damned healthy so I didn’t touch it.

As we were sitting there I wanted to wait to see if I was too full to get the chicken on a stick. Its not called that but whatever. Damn, this was the juiciest chicken I have ever had! It was so good! Yes, it is small but after all the other stuff it was actually more than enough.

And finally Cam wanted me to take a picture of my wasabi since she says I use way too much. “It’s like a paste now! Add some soy sauce!” Nope. Even though it made the back and top  of my brain hurt I enjoyed it. If you are ever in the area and catch them when they’re open head to Sake House Miro. Cool waiters, good service, and about average sushi prices if not a little more but well worth it.

Brownie!!!

You like brownies? You like ice cream? What? You don’t? Then get the hell off my blog! So while I drank my chocolate martini me and Mr. L. got this big ass brownie with a hunk of vanilla ice cream and chocolate drizzled on top. It was good and hot with the ice cream on top. Oh, it was amazing! And again..at the Arclight Theater! What?!

Chocolate Martini

I had a chocolate martini. No, it wasn’t on a dare. I was feeling a bit adventurous which I rarely do with booze. I like to stick with simple things like Jack and Coke, pure vodka, or tequila with a splash of something and ice. This thing was amazing and very booze filled. And I got it at the freaking Arclight Theater! I wasn’t even there to see a movie. Just drink and eat sweets! Don’t judge me.

The Bowery On Sunset

Last week I went to The Bowery with Ms. L. I had never been here but had heard of it. Nothing good or bad. Just heard of it. In my ever growing quest to try more and more burgers we headed there. I got a Bowery Burger which had fresh lettuce, tomato, these tiny ass pickles, and a side of aioli sauce. I love that stuff. The burger was served on a English muffin and upon first glance seems very small but then you realize that the patty is a friggin’ inch thick! Yeah. If you go with another person get one order of fries since it so damned big. I also got a Jack Daniels on ice (more ice than Jack sadly…). I liked this place and will head back again.

Simpang Asia

So I went out last night and tried some Indonesian food. I’m not gonna dog all Indonesian food places because this is the first time I’ve ever had it and I think its safe to assume not all of it is this underwhelming and the service isn’t this bad. This place is called Simpang Asia on National Blvd.

When we first arrived it sounded like someone was being raped nearby. Turns out there was a karate school nearby. First we ordered drinks. I got a lemonade. The weirdest lemonade I’ve ever had in my life. At first sip it was super bitter. Then I stirred it and it became super sweet. Then bitter again. Then sweet. What the fuck? As an appetizer I got these little chicken on a stick things. They were good.

I also got some wontons (they were called something else). They were alright but really greasy. Speaking of which, where are the napkins? (5 minutes later) Yeah, some napkins would be really cool right about now.

Cam got this weird ass looking vegetable deep fried things called spider. No, I wouldn’t touch them even though they were fried. I didn’t go to Uncle Moe’s damn it.

So the main dish comes. Its kinda warm. There are just four shrimp and a couple little pieces of chicken. Before I know it the dish is totally cold and dry. Speaking of dry, I sure would like something to drink. Wonder where the waiter is. Oh, there he is…ignoring us. Wait, maybe this time--no. Still ignoring us. By the time we finally got some attention I no longer wanted more of the chicken things or a drink. Just the check.

So okay to bland food, a weird atmosphere, and service that is damn near not tip worthy. Anyone else know of a good Indonesian place I can go to?

Love That Chicken From Popeye's

Popeye’s Chicken is the shit! I mean that in a good way. Its probably what I will miss most about not working in Burbank. Yeah, there’s one on Hollywood but its freaking swimming with hobos and people asking for change or trying to sell you drugs. Or if you’re me, Dante, trying to buy drugs from you. They have this awesome ass deal with all these delicious shrimp and fries with a drink. I get the sweet tea which somehow tastes better once the ice melts and its warm. The only chicken I ever get from here is the po’boy sandwich because it has two huge pieces of chicken and the spicy version rules all kinds of ass.

Red’s Barbecue & Grillery

Went to my friends Tanya and John’s and they ordered from this pace called Red’s Barbecue & Grillery. I had never heard of it but damn this place was good! Apparently there is only one location which sucks because I would order from here weekly if it were nearby.

I continue to be shocked when I eat barbecue that isn’t from someone’s house and I enjoy it. I think its happened to me four times now. The ribs were good and not from starving animals. There were also these garlic bread deals that melted in your mouth. And the macaroni was also super cheesy and good.

Cam had the chicken and some corn on the cob as well. I love corn on the cob but didn’t get any because I was being polite and let a late guest have it. I’m stupid. I should’ve ate that damned corn on the cob with my fat hungry ass.

Red Velvet Cake!

I fucking love red velvet cupcakes! Thanks to Stephanie for bringing these that her friend a pastry chef made.

Hot Dog...On A Stick

Me and Cam went to Hot Dog On A Stick. I hadn’t been here since the 90’s. Its one of those places I never ever think of going to. Especially since I try not to eat at malls. This one was at the Glendale Galleria and you all know how much I absolutely love the city of Glendale. I got a hotdog on a bun. Had no idea they had these. Or fries. Or veggie dogs for Cam. Seriously, it was a really good hotdog. Oh, and I got a big ass lemonade that was full of sugar! It made my stomach very happy thank you very much.