Celery Flavored Soda

I tasted hatred. I never knew that hatred had a taste until I had it yesterday. I tried for the first and last time Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray soda. It is celery flavored soda. That’s right. The vegetable you loved as a child is now a soda that hates you. By “other natural flavors” I assume they mean sugar, rage, and struggle. I’m still not sure why I tried this. Cam, who hates celery pointed it out and in my non-sleeping stupor I decided to get it with my hotdog. What a bad idea! As soon as it hit my tongue I could taste the celery breaking through with sugar sprinkled on it. I would never try this again and suggest you don’t try it once. As I told Jacquese, “It tasted like a felony.”