Simpang Asia

So I went out last night and tried some Indonesian food. I’m not gonna dog all Indonesian food places because this is the first time I’ve ever had it and I think its safe to assume not all of it is this underwhelming and the service isn’t this bad. This place is called Simpang Asia on National Blvd.

When we first arrived it sounded like someone was being raped nearby. Turns out there was a karate school nearby. First we ordered drinks. I got a lemonade. The weirdest lemonade I’ve ever had in my life. At first sip it was super bitter. Then I stirred it and it became super sweet. Then bitter again. Then sweet. What the fuck? As an appetizer I got these little chicken on a stick things. They were good.

I also got some wontons (they were called something else). They were alright but really greasy. Speaking of which, where are the napkins? (5 minutes later) Yeah, some napkins would be really cool right about now.

Cam got this weird ass looking vegetable deep fried things called spider. No, I wouldn’t touch them even though they were fried. I didn’t go to Uncle Moe’s damn it.

So the main dish comes. Its kinda warm. There are just four shrimp and a couple little pieces of chicken. Before I know it the dish is totally cold and dry. Speaking of dry, I sure would like something to drink. Wonder where the waiter is. Oh, there he is…ignoring us. Wait, maybe this time--no. Still ignoring us. By the time we finally got some attention I no longer wanted more of the chicken things or a drink. Just the check.

So okay to bland food, a weird atmosphere, and service that is damn near not tip worthy. Anyone else know of a good Indonesian place I can go to?

Love That Chicken From Popeye's

Popeye’s Chicken is the shit! I mean that in a good way. Its probably what I will miss most about not working in Burbank. Yeah, there’s one on Hollywood but its freaking swimming with hobos and people asking for change or trying to sell you drugs. Or if you’re me, Dante, trying to buy drugs from you. They have this awesome ass deal with all these delicious shrimp and fries with a drink. I get the sweet tea which somehow tastes better once the ice melts and its warm. The only chicken I ever get from here is the po’boy sandwich because it has two huge pieces of chicken and the spicy version rules all kinds of ass.

Red’s Barbecue & Grillery

Went to my friends Tanya and John’s and they ordered from this pace called Red’s Barbecue & Grillery. I had never heard of it but damn this place was good! Apparently there is only one location which sucks because I would order from here weekly if it were nearby.

I continue to be shocked when I eat barbecue that isn’t from someone’s house and I enjoy it. I think its happened to me four times now. The ribs were good and not from starving animals. There were also these garlic bread deals that melted in your mouth. And the macaroni was also super cheesy and good.

Cam had the chicken and some corn on the cob as well. I love corn on the cob but didn’t get any because I was being polite and let a late guest have it. I’m stupid. I should’ve ate that damned corn on the cob with my fat hungry ass.

Red Velvet Cake!

I fucking love red velvet cupcakes! Thanks to Stephanie for bringing these that her friend a pastry chef made.

Hot Dog...On A Stick

Me and Cam went to Hot Dog On A Stick. I hadn’t been here since the 90’s. Its one of those places I never ever think of going to. Especially since I try not to eat at malls. This one was at the Glendale Galleria and you all know how much I absolutely love the city of Glendale. I got a hotdog on a bun. Had no idea they had these. Or fries. Or veggie dogs for Cam. Seriously, it was a really good hotdog. Oh, and I got a big ass lemonade that was full of sugar! It made my stomach very happy thank you very much.

Sammi's Thai Again

Went to Sammi's Thai with my cousin last week and had another great time. I stuck with my new old favorites since I am afraid of change like some crazy old man that see's a car with doors that open up instead of out.

I got the chicken pad see ew and had my cousin pick out all of the broccoli. You all know my body cant process that crazy stuff. I love it because they give you so much it can last for like three meals.

My cousin got this big ass shrimp and chicken fried rice. It tasted super good.

She also got these egg rolls that had no eggs. They were just vegetables. No, I did not touch them no matter how many times she told me to.

I also ordered the pork wontons. There is seriously not that much pork in it. Can you see it? No? That's because its not really in there. Its crunchy though and I like crunchy.

Aero Chocolate

Got a lovely gift from Canada in the form of this delicious ass candy called Aero. Seriously, how can I say that I live in the land of the free when I ain’t got this delicious ass treat available to me whenever I want it?! Huh?! Tell me! Oh, I don’t even want to finish the bag because I know I cant just go out and grab some more. If you ever get a chance to try these (because I ain’t sharing!) then do it.

Calendar's On Wilshire

Last Sunday I went to Calendar’s. I was gonna call it Marie Calendar’s but have since been corrected that those are different places though they are connected. Kinda like The Cheesecake Factory and Grand Lux Café. I hadn’t been to this place since like 1996 and when I went back then I don’t even remember what I got. Me and Ms. L. headed here and got the buffet. Oh, it was awesome!

I started off with sausage, pulled pork, potatoes, ribs and a biscuit. Every single thing was good. Some places make ribs and the meat will be good but the sauce sucks or the sauce is amazing and you’re eating ribs from some animal that starved to death. No here! These ribs were pretty damned perfect. If I had some grape soda I would have been in heaven.

Ms. L. got a salad (you know I don’t roll like that) and a bunch of good looking chicken that I didn’t have any room for. I’ll try it next time for sure.

On my next plate (yes, next) I got more sausage, macaroni and cheese, pizza, and more potatoes. By this point I could barely stand. This whole time we are enjoying an endless supply of mimosas! The mimosas were really good and they used real orange juice. Who knows what the champagne was. It was good (meaning it worked).

Dessert time! Now, I messed up by eating so much because by the time it was time for sweets I was incapacitated. I got this cherry and something pie. I’m not sure what the something was but it was good. I really need to pace myself better.

Ms. L. got, uh, fruit. And some chocolate on the side. While she was getting it she saw that they had friggin’ tri-tipped steak over there! Why they gotta hide the meat with the vegetables and fruit knowing full and damn well I don’t go over there?! I was inconsolable.

If you got $20 and a big appetite head to Calendar’s on Wilshire (right by the La Brea Tar Pits and next to The Counter). You will get full, maybe drunk, and enjoy a very cool buffet with lots of choices and food that doesn’t look like kids had their hands all up in it.

The Farm Of Beverly Hills

Summer took me to this cool little place literally connected to the movie theater at The Grove called The Farm Of Beverly Hills. I don’t know all of the stuff they have but we had only one thing on our minds: brownies! I got this really good caramel latte that had my head buzzing and this delicious brownie that was piping hot and covered with really good vanilla ice cream and caramel. If you have less than $20 and feel like raising your blood sugar levels and having a comfy ass time, head here.

Shin!

Yesterday for my birthday Cam took me to this place in Hollywood called Shin. Its Korean barbecue (which I am used to seeing on Wilshire in K-Town) and very good. Thank the gods of Groupon because Cam had one and it saved her a lot on the meal.

We started off with this multitude of small dishes which included vegetables, this amazing mashed sweet potato that I’d never had before and tasted great, kim chee, and many other things. There was this one flat bread wheat something or other that was so damned good! You could eat it cold but there is a grill in front of me and I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna use it!

They don’t have a huge variety of vegetable dishes and even the tofu soup contained beef broth. Cam passed on the soup and I got this massive bowl of soup with beef strips. It was spicy and had my nose running but tasted delicious.

The food came and I had the steak, Cam got this weird thing that looked exactly like steak but wasn’t, and we both had the spicy chicken. Funny thing about the steak that wasn’t, we were so unsure about what it was that we grilled it and I tried it to confirm what it was. It was not steak.

I have been to places that allow you to grill you food right at your table and this was the best in terms of ventilation. Sometimes you sit there and the smoke just goes in your eyes and you eat food with blurred vision. If you get the Emperor’s meal it comes with all the small dishes, great cold green teas, hot tea, the three meats, and a dessert.

Oh, the dessert! I have never had a green tea pancake. I didn’t know it existed. We tore this thing up! It was a green tea pancake with the best crust and fluffiness I have ever had with brown sugar and cinnamon in the center, and topped with vanilla ice cream. It was so good and by the time we were done we were stuffed.

If you have some cash to spare head to this place and have a great meal. Shin was nice, the lighting was good, the staff was nice, the bathrooms were clean, and our waiter Mike was really funny, fast, and honest.