Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sweet Chili Dorito's!!!
Have you ever been mouth f#@ked by a delicious snack? Really? You haven’t? Well, got your oral prophylactics ready because I am about to introduce you to a delicious new chip: Dorito’s Sweet Chili! This is the best chip I have ever tasted since bacon and cheese Cheetoo’s (yes, there was once a Cheetoo with bacon and cheese flavoring).
The first time I ever had these awesome ass things was months ago before bible study at a Subway restaurant. Yes, I know I have knocked Subway before but that was for their customer service, not their chip selection. I had this with a pastrami sandwich and saw a purple bag of Dorito’s (you know how Black folks love purple!) and I grabbed them.
Now, the combination of the words “sweet” and “chili” doesn’t really inspire me to reach into my wallet and buy something, but I was willing to give it a shot. Man, you have no idea how happy I was once I took a bite out of one of these delicious ass chips! How can I even begin t describe what the taste like? Happiness? Love? Sex? I’m not sure. But I am sure that if you ever get your mitts on a bag you’ll be happy. Herein lies the problem.
I have not been able to find these damned thing anywhere but at Subway. And not every Subway carries them. Is this some vast conspiracy being perpetrated by Jared and his Subway cohorts in a scheme to make me seem like a mad man when I go into a Subway and ask “Hey, do you have the Dorito’s in the purple bag?” only to be looked at with glazed over eyes and a head shake? Perhaps.
These chips are harder to find than a virgin at a Catholic school. But once you get your hands on them (the chips not the virgins) you’ll be happy you did. I’m serious. These are some of the best chips I have ever eaten in my life. And I have eaten a lot of chips. I have survived hamburger flavored Dorito’s, ya’ll. I know what I’m talking about.