Saturday, October 10, 2009


I love bacon. I’m not afraid to admit it and I’m sure as hell not hiding it. I don’t know what part of a pig it comes from nor do I care to. I have never seen it made nor do I want to. I just want to say that bacon rules and you should all admit it.

Some people don’t eat it for religious reasons. Oh, how sad. Seriously, I wouldn’t even be trying to be a Christian if all of a sudden bacon was a banned item. I’m that serious about it. Think about how bacon makes you feel when you eat it. Crispy, soggy, dripping with grease. It doesn’t matter. I will eat it. A few months back at my lady’s sisters graduation there was a buffet where I consumed maybe two dozen slices of bacon. If you don’t stop me I will keep eating it.

This has been going on since I was a little Dante. If there was bacon near me it was going in my mouth hole. Screw the three second rule. If it was on the floor for an hour I’d still eat it. I just made some bacon for dinner. Bacon with what, you ask? Nothing. Just bacon all by itself. Bacon is a meal. I don’t need eggs, pancakes, juice, and milk. Just bacon.

Hoozle, a pal in Ireland, posted a link about a vodka with bacon in it. I would take one sip and have the largest orgasm ever. One day I will try it and let you all know what I think. Here’s my prediction.

“I no longer need to read another word of the bible. For I have found God!"

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