Thursday, September 17, 2009

Have Some "B" With Your "L" & "T"

There’s a problem I have with food never looking like it does when its advertised on TV. Yeah, I know that it will never look exactly like it does in the commercials, but is it too much to ask that it looks at least kinda like it does? Subway, you have been guilty of this for a long time!

I’m not a food snob, okay? I will eat at almost any fast food joint. But the ad for this meatball sub has it smoking hot. You can see steam coming off the damned thing. Now I don’t know how many of you have been to a Subway but this is the routine.

1. Wait in line for a while as some goofy mofo takes forever to tell the guy behind the counter what they want. Please use this free time to decide what you want please. Because after waiting for five minutes and doing nothing but stare at the menu you should know what you want in your mouth besides my impatient fist.

2. Speak slowly. Most people that work at Subway use English as their second language (not being racist just stating a fact). And be patient because even when you tell them exactly what you want they will ask if you want more things on it. Stuff that don’t even go together.

3. Decide whether or not you really want that sandwich toasted. They are trying to be like Quizno’s and toast everything. Why would I want a pastrami sandwich toasted? Maybe they have to ask that but they really don’t need to.

4. Sit and wonder after they make your sandwich how it manages to look like it was used to beat Rodney King. You just watched them put this thing together but for some reason when you open it the damned thing looks like it got beaten. Just hope it tastes good.

5. Don’t get the extra bacon. Its only like two slices of microwaved bacon. They charge a buck fifty for it and its just not worth it. Matter of fact, don’t order their BLT. Its most lots of L and T with very little B, alright?

I hope I have helped you all save yourself some drama with dealing with Subway. Their deals aren’t really worth it but when you’re really hungry just head to one. Thank God they don’t do drive through’s. You’d still be waiting in line and starving.

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