Have Some "B" With Your "L" & "T"

There’s a problem I have with food never looking like it does when its advertised on TV. Yeah, I know that it will never look exactly like it does in the commercials, but is it too much to ask that it looks at least kinda like it does? Subway, you have been guilty of this for a long time!

I’m not a food snob, okay? I will eat at almost any fast food joint. But the ad for this meatball sub has it smoking hot. You can see steam coming off the damned thing. Now I don’t know how many of you have been to a Subway but this is the routine.

1. Wait in line for a while as some goofy mofo takes forever to tell the guy behind the counter what they want. Please use this free time to decide what you want please. Because after waiting for five minutes and doing nothing but stare at the menu you should know what you want in your mouth besides my impatient fist.

2. Speak slowly. Most people that work at Subway use English as their second language (not being racist just stating a fact). And be patient because even when you tell them exactly what you want they will ask if you want more things on it. Stuff that don’t even go together.

3. Decide whether or not you really want that sandwich toasted. They are trying to be like Quizno’s and toast everything. Why would I want a pastrami sandwich toasted? Maybe they have to ask that but they really don’t need to.

4. Sit and wonder after they make your sandwich how it manages to look like it was used to beat Rodney King. You just watched them put this thing together but for some reason when you open it the damned thing looks like it got beaten. Just hope it tastes good.

5. Don’t get the extra bacon. Its only like two slices of microwaved bacon. They charge a buck fifty for it and its just not worth it. Matter of fact, don’t order their BLT. Its most lots of L and T with very little B, alright?

I hope I have helped you all save yourself some drama with dealing with Subway. Their deals aren’t really worth it but when you’re really hungry just head to one. Thank God they don’t do drive through’s. You’d still be waiting in line and starving.

Get Yo Drank On!

Lots of people don’t think about how important a drink is in regards to their meals. With fancy stuff like wine they do. You drink white wine with some things and red wines with others. Fancy stuff, right? This isn’t about fancy stuff. This is about soda.

With certain foods certain sodas are required. With foods that are heavy in spice (Indian, Mexican) I would request a Sprite, Sierra Mist, or 7-Up. These lemon lime based drinks are good because they don’t overpower the natural spices. The last thing you want is to have a delicious meal and wash all the taste away by drinking something fruity like Hawaiian Punch.

With foods like barbeque fruit drinks are the way to go. Orange soda and grape soda work best. I don’t know why but they do. The strong taste works very well with most meat based dishes as well. Steak with Hawaiian Punch is awesome. Turkey sandwiches with orange soda is good. I suggest you all try it. You wont be disappointed.

Some sodas don’t mix well with foods. Cream sodas and root beers don’t mix with many things. Plain hotdogs and just French fries are okay but who the hell wants to eat that alone? Strong drinks like Coke and nasty ass Pepsi go well with barbeques and meat but never with pastas. By no means should you ever drink a dark soda with pasta.

Try Sierra Mist for Italian foods. I have tried orange soda with pizza and its okay but Sierra Mist offers the perfect combination of fizz to the tomato and cheese.

You all should try these out and let me know what you think. I am a professional in matters of soda. Also, let me know what mixes you find that work well.

Tilapia Fish!!!

I’ll be the first to say that I have no idea of what to do when it comes to making fish dishes. No idea. Everyone says that its really easy and that you pretty much have to just marinate it in something and then fry or grill it. Nothing is ever that easy, okay? So I decided to give this Tilapia fish my mother gave me a try.



First I thawed the fish out completely. Even this part made me worried because I didn’t want to have it get warm before it was prepared. I soaked it in a lime juice for about an hour and a half. I want it to have the citrus taste but not too much, you know? I didn’t want some fish shaped lime for lunch. I tossed it in the fridge and waited.



After it was marinated I placed it in a foil covered pan with some light oil on the bottom to bake. Camille told me that I really didn’t need to bake it but I just wanted the fish firmer. This is just me being silly and trying to treat it like a steak or something. So leaving the lemon juice in the pan I placed it in the oven for 20 minutes at 200 degrees.



Once removed by using a spatula (get a strong one so the fish doesn’t fall apart like a couple if mine did) place it in cornbread mix. I didn’t use an egg or milk. Just straight sweet cornbread mix. A tiny bit of season salt was added to the fish as well. Then I used a cast iron skillet at 300 degrees with half a table spoon of butter and a few drops of vegetable oil in the pan until it was brown. Placing the tilapia fish in carefully I let it crisp on each side for about a minute and a half. It cooks pretty fast, ya’ll. After this I put it in the over at about 175 degrees just to keep it hot while I made chicken rice.

It came out way better than I expected. Even when folks tell me something is easy you just never know, right? The cornbread gave it a slightly sweet taste while the lime juice countered that for a good combination. I drank pink lemonade with it but suggest anything light like Sierra Mist, 7-Up, or any clear beverage. Yes, the drink you have with food is very important. I’ll talk about that some other time though. Right now I’m hungry.