F.U CVS

I hate CVS. Ever since Sav-On became CVS their customer service has been the shits. Yes, I also know that when Thrifty became Rite-Aid they have become shit as well. But there is something magical about the customer service at CVS. Specifically the ones on Santa Monica & La Cienega and the one on 3rd & Fairfax. The latter is what I’ll be bitching about.

Like I mentioned in the previous blog, me and Cam went out for dinner. Afterwards I needed to grab some stuff and CVS was on the way home. We joked about the many types of razors for women (“Why would you need a lavender scented handle…?”) and how I once bought kitchen towels instead of toilet paper (“This is gonna suck so hard!”) before heading to the cashiers. There were two. One other person was in line being taken care of.

Enter Bethany.

Now, we didn’t catch her actual name so we named her Bethany and the car ride home consisted of us making fun of her for being so bitchy. I will try my best to log what happened next.

Bethany: “You can use the automated check out.”


Me: “I’m good.”


Cam: “No, I don’t like using them.”


Bethany: “Its really easy.”


Me: “Uh…” (looks at Cam) “…naw.”


Cam: “I’m pro-people.”


Bethany: “I’m pro-no lines!” (after a few hiccups with my machine the transaction was complete) “Now wasn’t that easy…?”

At this point I am shocked. I’m surprised she didn’t pat me on my retarded little head and hand me a sugar free lollipop. This whorecunt (thank you Dan-e-o) who obviously was sent by corporate, which is code for the people who do things that make life miserable for low waged employees, to make shit hard. But to her she is making things easier.

I fucking hate automated check outs. Fucking cant stand them. They break all the time. There’s always someone whose job it is to stand at them to help people because weird shit always happens like it wont feel your purchase or it wont take your cash in which case it asks you to find a human!

And for anyone that tries to defend shitty attitudes at work, go get your shine box. I’ve worked at Petco, mopped up vomit, slanged porn, sorted literally thousands of packages of mail, and moved dead bodies. I know what a shitty day is and never took it out on anyone. But maybe Bethany didn’t realize she was being an asshat. Maybe she was a new robot fresh off the assembly line and couldn’t tell the difference between condescending and helpful.

It does not compute.

Nonna's Empanadas

Me and Cam went to this place using a Groupon called Nonna’s Empanada’s over here near The Beverly Center (8570 W. 3rd Street, Los Angeles, CA 90048). I had never heard of this place and had to have passed it dozens of times. We went in and grabbed a seat outside since it was Africa warm even at night and ordered chicken empanadas, these small croissants, veggie empanadas (for Cam of course), and a ham and cheese sandwich (grilled) for me. This food was fucking amazing. The croissants were these tiny little sweet pieces of heaven. I have to go back to try their pizza. Oh, and did I mention that they deliver?!

Le Pain Quotidien

So today on a hot summer day here in Los Angeles I went to this place in Larchmont called Le Pain Quotidien. “What’s this about Pain?!” I cried. Miss E. assured me that it meant “pan” in French. This is a very cool and nice place with a great staff. I got this amazing sandwich that had chicken, avocado, tomatoes, and a piece of cantaloupe. I hadn’t had a taste of cantaloupe in forever so it was weird to taste one again. It was served on this flat plate that looked cool and I washed it down with a few glasses of real lemonade.

We also got this muffin thing for dessert. I forget what it had in it but apparently there were Chia Pet seeds all over it.So the next time anyone sees me and plants are coming out my ass you’ll know why. The thing about this place that amazed me was that it was all organic and health. If you’ve read more than two of these blogs you know that I fight healthy. But Le Pain Quotidien was really good.

The Stand

Yesterday me and my heterosexual life mate Alex from The DNA Show went to The Stand in Westwood. They should call it "The Last Stand" because Westwood is damn near a ghost town now! I wanted to head to Chile’s but its gone now. Yeah. Gone! I only got to go there like two times. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to Olive Garden when I know  places like Red Lobster exists. Anyhoot, we went to The Stand and I got a burger and fries with a Coke. There was only one other occupied table so saying the service was fast would be redundant. Their burgers are great and the fries were perfectly made. For about $8 you will be crippled by the size of the food. Go now before its gone too.

Omi Sushi

In my adventures in my neighborhood, meaning I finally realized that I could eat sushi without going as far as I was, I checked out this place pretty much across the street called Omi Sushi. I have walked past this place hundreds (if not thousands) of times and never went inside. I ordered the same thing as I always do and when I go someplace new. Shrimp tempura. Wow, this place is good! Cheaper than Yoshi Sushi or Sushi Cat, larger portions, and they also include fried fruit with sweet sauce. Their wasabi portions were also good. I love wasabi! If you’re ever in my neighborhood we’re going to Omi Sushi. I also need to point out that the staff is really nice and courteous.

Yoshi Sushi

Today I went to this place called Yoshi Sushi here in West Hollywood. As some of you may know, I hated sushi for years. The fact that I even eat it now is still amazing and brand new to me. Last year Ms. J. took me to this place, I believe in Pasadena, and I was shocked that I liked it so much. Since then I have kinda become addicted. At work I was going to Sushi Cat at least twice a week. Oh, I am so glad to find a new place right up the street that tastes so good! Yoshi Sushi is close, fast, and really good. Damn, it was big too! I got my go-to sushi dish of shrimp tempura. I enjoyed it and will be there again soon enough. So happy I went there!

The Bungalow

Today I went to Larchmont with Ms. E for our very first hang out and we went to this place called The Bungalow. I had been to Larchmont once before but not to this place. Oh, it was so good. The atmosphere was nice and the staff was easy going and not all haggard and stressed like most morning staffs are (McDonald’s, I’m looking at you!).

I got the Cobb Omelet which consisted of a gigantic ass omelet stuffed with bacon, chicken, sliced avocado on top, and a big side of potatoes. Oh, it was so good. Seriously, every single bite was good. And the bacon wasn’t that Canter’s type bacon that’s small and hard. The chicken was good as well. For a drink I got an Arnold Palmer with green tea. Never had one with green tea and was super surprised at how good it was.

Kinda pricey but I didn’t have to eat another meal for almost twelve hours after going here. Ms. E had a got a seafood omelet that was good too. I say give this place a try. But expect to be full. Oh, and before I forget, they have this red and blue velvet cake that I have to try the next time I head to The Bungalow.

Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles

Yesterday I went to Roscoe’s Chicken & Waffles with Miss H. It was so damned fun! This is the third time I have been here. This was the Hollywood location, which was twice, and I went to the Pico one once and that wasn’t all that fun. I got the chicken (of course) and waffles with a side of potato salad, and an Arnold Palmer to drink. We sat there for like an hour and just got to talk and enjoy some great food. We went in the middle of the day and it was easy to get a seat. No wait and the waitress was really fast and nice.

Yogurtland

Last week I went to this place called Yogurtland with my DNA Show partner, Alex. This spot is at the Beverly Connection and I doubt I ever would’ve gone here if he hadn’t suggested it. I got this awesome one with vanilla bean yogurt, pistachio yogurt, topped with Nutter Butter bits, cheesecake bits, and cookie dough to finish it off. Whatever health I could’ve gotten from this was now removed. Alex got…free samples until he was full. You get a cup,  fill it up, and then pay. Pretty damn cheap as well. And you should go just to watch the polarization of customers. Really big people and really small people. But don’t sit near the door. They have one of those air shooting doors and I am shocked the smaller chicks didn’t blow away. Oh, and we saw a guy that was dressed like a beach goer from the 40’s!

Coffee Crisp!

Josh sent me candy! Poet/comedian/golden eyes Josh Smith sent me a candy bar in the mail! I shit you not, a for reals candy bar from all the way from New York. Its called Coffee Crisp. And it tastes good! I have already eaten half of it and am trying to save it. Which means it’ll be gone in an hour. I love how its says it makes a light snack on the side. Light my ass! it’s the size of an average Black cock. Hey, I worked at a porn shop for seven years. Don’t judge me. Any of you that can get this when you want you are very lucky. Check Josh Smith out on youtube and follow him on twitter by clicking the links.

Carniceria Latina

Wrote these so out of order. I started the day with Ms. J. at the park after grabbing some awesome ass food from Carniceria Latina. She had mentioned how good this place was and I was so excited. As soon as we stepped inside I got all excited just smelling everything. I got some chicken empanadas. Oh it was so delicious! I thought the one’s at Lala’s were good. Yeah, they are but they’re nothing like these. Nothing!

Ms. J. got the spinach and cheese ones and beef ones. All of them were good. Yes, even the spinach! I ate it. That happened! We just sat there drinking our awesome sodas on a blanket enjoying the amazing weather eating empanadas. There were also the damned kids with soccer balls, a dog playing catch, and the remote control car powered by gasoline. Carniceria Latina was really good and I really hope to go there again soon!

Porto's

Porto’s is awesome! Ms. J. and I braved literally hundreds of people to get some delicious pastries. We got some guava cream ones and this delicious beef ones. No, I didn’t get pictures of them because they got eaten! The guava ones were so flaky and good. The beef ones made me so happy! Like I mentioned in a previous post, we brought these into The Alcove and snacked on them. When I say there were hundreds of people I’m not kidding. They had to be there for Mother’s Day and the line was out of the door. You have to brave Glendale and the insane ass traffic. But so worth it!

The Alcove

Me and Ms. J. went to The Alcove. I had to have passed this place a hundred times and never saw it. It has a very cool outside area and we sat in the one in back. Everything about this place seemed very chill and nice. I got a white mocha that was so damned good. We snuck some food from Porto’s (which I will write about shortly) and sat there for a long ass time just talking and enjoying our drinks. I would recommended going here if you’re tired of Starbuck’s.

New Drinks I Can't Pronounce!

Materva Verba Mate Soda. All new words for me and a new delicious soda as well. Not new in general but new to me. The only way I could describe the taste was of this snow cone my neighbor when I was little Mr. Bros that was called Popeye flavor. It doesn’t have any particular fruit flavor or anything. Just good. Is good a flavor? It is now! It taste like good!

The next was Jupina. It taste like pineapple. It didn’t have that strong Shasta type taste that burns your nose and throat. It was super good and I had to get both of these because I know when I eat bread I’m gonna drink a lot. Two great new tastes and the day was just starting!

Sake House Miro

Today me and my partner in crime Cam went to this place called Sake House Miro. We tried going there a couple other times and it was closed.  Yeah. Thankfully it wasn’t this time. Its located on La Brea just past Wilshire here in L.A. Or whatever area you wanna call it. Miracle Mile? Bah! On to the review.

We started off with these little spicy cucumber things. “Pretend they’re pickles” Cam told me. I swear she is the only person on Erf that can get me to eat half the shit she does. They were good and not too spicy.

I’m still new to eating sushi so I don’t try and get crazy with it. I have had the pure raw fish ones before but I like to stick with familiar. New scares me. So I got the spicy tuna roll. I have recently been eating at Sushi Cat near my job and they have really good spicy tuna rolls but these were way better. I’m not quite sure what was added but something gave it a little extra kick that was delicious.

I also got the shrimp tempura roll. This is by far my favorite sushi so far. This place made them super thick and by the time I was done I was full. I know. I had no idea that sushi was filling until I had a full plate of it last year with Julia in Pasadena or something. If you’ll notice in the background is Cam’s seaweed salad. It looked like The Man-Thing.

Cam got the V8 sushi. I’m not sure if its because it has something to do with the drink or a car engine. Either way it looked way too damned healthy so I didn’t touch it.

As we were sitting there I wanted to wait to see if I was too full to get the chicken on a stick. Its not called that but whatever. Damn, this was the juiciest chicken I have ever had! It was so good! Yes, it is small but after all the other stuff it was actually more than enough.

And finally Cam wanted me to take a picture of my wasabi since she says I use way too much. “It’s like a paste now! Add some soy sauce!” Nope. Even though it made the back and top  of my brain hurt I enjoyed it. If you are ever in the area and catch them when they’re open head to Sake House Miro. Cool waiters, good service, and about average sushi prices if not a little more but well worth it.